Of Pearls And Stars: Alduin
by Razzella
Summary: [Read Of Pearls And Stars First!] "Foolish little mortal," Alduin cooed affectionately, and I gave him my best snarl. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not trying to kill you before you will believe me?"
1. Chapter 1

I ended up starting with Alduins story because his inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks.

Nobody hate me for the end of this chapter; I love Paarthurnax, but this is an entirely plausible theory that I decided to use for this story because I love drama. Fae at the end is entirely in character, but don't fret, this first chapter is not an accurate representation of her for the entire story; she will get herself under control again and go back to being a precious baby.

Review please!

\- Razzella

* * *

|| Chapter One ||

* * *

 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

* * *

 _When misrule takes its place at the eight corners of the world,_

 _When the Brass Tower walks and Time is reshaped,_

 _When the thrice-blessed fail and the Red Tower trembles,_

 _When the Dragonborn Ruler loses his throne, and the White Tower falls,_

 _When the Snow Tower lies sundered, kingless, bleeding,_

 _The World-Eater wakes, and the Wheel turns upon the Last Dragonborn._

* * *

I was getting worse.

I stared at my hands as I sat in my room at the monastery, trying to contain my dragons' soul that had literally been clawing me apart from the inside out. I had read stories of the Dragonborns going "mad" as the first – Miraak – had. There were countless ones through the ages where a _dovahkiin_ would lose his mind and start behaving as more dragon than man and it appeared I would be one of them.

And here I was, my room destroyed, sitting in the midst of it with this goofy sneer on my face while I read through this damned book that I had yet to rip the pages out of in favor of eyeing my hands for ten minutes. I knew I was sick – diseased, really – but how to cure a disease of the soul? You didn't. You couldn't. Humans knew nothing of the soul, in reality, and to _cure_ one was absurd. I would have to seek out otherworldly assistance, and there wasn't a single source I was willing to ask.

 _Gods_ , I was in trouble.

I stood then, making my way outback and exposing myself to the cold terrain with semi-wild eyes. I knew my hair was wild even by animal standards; having it blow in the harsh winds was only furthering my disheveled appearance – but I didn't care. My soul was screaming – a loud, ringing echo in my ears that was demanding I find… _something._ What was I looking for? My eyes flittered across the courtyard, feeling myself growing more agitated as I stood there.

"Shut _up_!" The earth shook beneath me as I pressed my hands to my ears, screeching into the howling winds that lead to Paarthurnax. There was a tug in that direction; I hissed, staring down the winds that were blocking my path.

" _Lok Vah Koor!_ " I stormed up the mountain, finding the ancient being sitting before his human sibling, speaking softly. Of _course_ Alduin was up here right now. Of course he was. My poor attitude was apparently noticed by the larger of the two males and Paarthurnax turned to me with worried eyes. I saw his very soul squirm as I laid my eyes on him; I wondered if he knew I suddenly felt the urge to suck that soul right out of his body.

" _Shir gein?_ **[Dear one?]** " Paarthurnax spoke slowly, seemingly alarmed at my appearance. I didn't look that bad, did I? Alduin, on the other hand, had a smirk slapped on his face that did strange things to my stomach; I was suddenly feeling even more aggressive, despite the way my mind had quieted being near the two brothers. I was suddenly unable to remember why I was here; instead of anger, it had been translated into something more… _intimate_ upon meeting Alduins red gaze. Flashes of ideas that I somehow knew could _not_ have been from me began overtaking my thoughts and I shook my head fervently, face flushing.

"Paarthurnax," I managed to force the name from my mouth breathlessly, despite it not at all being the one I wanted to say. "I need help."

He eyed me with interest, his head cocking to one side as he moved closer to me; I forced myself to return his attention. Our eyes met and I was able to calm myself for the most part, but my jittery movement was apparently alarming to him. I could feel Alduins gaze on me as I stared at Paarthurnax, fists clenched at my sides. Alduin was the one to actually answer my plead for help.

" _Hi genun wah kos ko frin._ " Rage boiled over.

"Excuse me?" The words were a low hiss, and I could tell Paarthurnax was suddenly uncomfortable with my presence from the way he backed away.

"Do you not speak our tongue? I was under the impression Paarthurnax had managed to teach _you_ , at least. I said: _you appear to be in heat_."

"I know what you _said,"_ My voice raised in pitch as I spoke, eyes blazing. "I don't know what it _means._ " I corrected his assumption, turning my full body towards him as I resisted the urge to stalk towards him.

"Humans do not go into heat." I stated simply, sneering at him.

"Well, you're not exactly human, are you, _dovahkiin_?" He hummed, red eyes narrowed slightly as he sized me up. I stiffened at his words, straightening and managing to reign in my emotions; schooling my features I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I'm not one of _you_ if that's what you're insinuating." He was in front of me – quite literally – before I could even fully exhale at the end of my sentence and I, admittedly, stumbled backwards in quite a hurry and ended up on my ass in the snow. It was in that moment Paarthurnax intervened, his tail landing between myself and Alduin with a rather loud thud. Both our gazes shifted to him as he stared at us with obvious amusement.

"I never imagined this would be how this conversation went." He admitted, chuckling as he offered me a knowing look. "But your soul is in fact yearning for a partner, _shir gein._ **[dear one]** We _dovah_ know it as _frin_ **[heat]** , and it is not very dissimilar to what you recognize it as." I wanted to be angry, but all I could do was feel frightened. So what did this mean for me?

"It is mainly different in the fact that it is a spiritual event more than physical for _dovah_ ," He purred in amusement, watching as horror flickered across my face. "Our souls naturally crave an equal when we come of age; it is unsurprising that you would begin feeling such urges. You should begin engaging in battle with those around you to test their – "

I started laughing, then, somewhat hysterically, and both men jumped at the sudden sound.

"You have to be joking to think I would ever – I'm not going to – what the _fuck_ , Paarthurnax?" I laughed loudly and leaned back on my palms before outright collapsing in the snow.

"It is not a laughing matter, _kulaas_ **[princess]**. Female _dovah_ have been known to go mad if they do not take a mate." He warned and I couldn't help but wonder why he thought the rules of dragons would apply to me?

"I'm not a _dovah_." I said it loudly, but not unkindly. My laughter laced through my words as I shook my head, feeling for the moment as if I was actually in control of myself. I could still feel the heat itching through my entire body – it felt like dragon fire, to be honest – but I could suddenly feel a weight lifting from my chest the longer I was in his presence. I began to relax.

"I'm not a fucking dragon, Paarthurnax. I'm not bound by the same rules as you."

"You are more dragon than man." Alduin finally spoke, and I felt myself unnerved by his analysis as I glared.

"And you're more man than dragon, aren't you?" I sneered mockingly, only to be startled when the male had suddenly pinned my arms to the ground; effectively keeping me firmly in the snow as he snarled down at me.

" _Hin zahr los qiib, to Zu'u vust lorot do pruz brah fah nii._ **[Your mouth is endearing, though I could think of a better use for it.]** " I gasped, feeling the flames burn brighter under my skin as I stared up at him.

" _Hi los veistul._ **[You are vile.]** " My voice cracked as I struggled weakly, briefly wondering _why the fuck_ Paarthurnax had not offered me any assistance.

" _Ahrk hi los brit, meyus dovah. Druv krif hin lund?_ **[And you are beautiful, foolish dragon. Why fight your nature?]** "

"Because it isn't _my_ nature!" I finally screeched, struggling a bit more beneath him. Unfortunately for me, this forced him to rearrange himself above me; forcing us into a more intimate position. His soul was glowing like a bright red halo around him, and a sudden relaxation of my limbs left my heart pounding in my chest. Wait – did he call me beautiful?

My eyes widened in realization and I openly gaped, wondering what the fuck was happening. Odahviings words rang through my head then: " _He has proclaimed he will claim the female dragonborn as one of his mates."_

"Much better," Alduin purred, far too close to my sensitive ears. "Just relax, _brii._ **[beauty]**." His eyes met mine and, against my better judgement, I found myself mesmerized. Gods, he was beautiful, wasn't he? I pulled myself together, repeating over and over what Odahviing had said. I was not some trophy. He would not _claim_ me. How dare him!

How _dare_ him! My anger rekindled and I reared my head back, before it collided with his abruptly. It wasn't a lot of force, but it was enough for him to be startled; in that time I managed to wriggle one hand free long enough to punch him square in the jaw before stumbling to my feet.

"You do not know me," I hissed out, eyes narrowed at him. "Don't assume I am so easily swayed. I haven't forgotten who you are." I then proceeded to glare at Paarthurnax, who had watched the short spectacle with curious eyes, before tearing down the mountain again.

* * *

I was losing my mind.

Arngeir had not commented on the state of my room, but I knew he was concerned upon catching my gaze in the hall. I wondered if Arvakr was having the same problems as me – maybe that was why he was so bloody attached to Delphine. I wondered if I could come to such an arrangement with someone, but the idea was rapidly smashed. I refused to give into this. I was the bloody dragonborn for god's sake. I was quite literally known as the slayer of the World-Eater – a legend among men. It would be unbecoming of me to start behaving like a horny teenage girl now. Or ever, really.

But even so, the longer I isolated myself, the more loudly the echoing _screeching_ was. I hadn't expected my dragons' soul to start literally screaming into my head when I failed to give in to it; this had been going on for days. I hadn't eaten, much less slept, in days, and it was beginning to show in the dark rings around my eyes, and the fact I had yet to bathe since my run-in with Alduin and Paarthurnax a week ago. I couldn't think; I had been literally destroying my room – and then cleaning it – and redestroying it over and over and over again because it was the only productive thing I could do, until I couldn't even do that anymore.

Not to mention I was quite literally _burning_ from the inside out. The flames that I had felt licking at my skin were suddenly too hot for me to rationalize. Part of me wanted to throw myself into the snow in attempts to cool down, but having tried that before I locked myself away, I knew that the snow would simply melt away and there I would be in a puddle on the ground.

But none of this compared to the real problem I was experiencing – the one thing at the forefront of my mind. Sex. It seemed childish and barely believable, but it was true. All I could manage to focus my mind in on was sex, though allowing the fantasies would drive me into a frenzy that was barely containable through "normal" means. No, that's a lie, it wasn't even containable then. It was just momentarily paused until the next time I couldn't control my wandering thoughts.

My body was throbbing with _need_ and I couldn't reign it in no matter how many prayers I sent out, or how many times I meditated. My breasts were sore, my stomach was constantly in knots – constantly reminding me I was _so close_ – and my senses were sharp enough to hear a pin drop three rooms down. And Gods knew I could fucking _smell_ him every time he passed my door. Alduin. I swear he was doing it on purpose because he was always moving so _fucking_ slowly down this hall; his scent invaded my room and senses like he was standing directly in front of me.

"Gods, please make this stop." I found myself sobbing one evening as I debated how painful it would be to cut my own throat. I wished I had taken Paarthurnax more seriously that day when he had warned me, but here I was, barely able to move without ever nerve-ending in my body screaming, with no knowledge of how to make it stop. How was I even alive at this point? No amount of suffering I had experienced before could ever hope to compare to this. I wanted to die. My tears were evaporating from my face as they fell and I wondered if there was going to be a black, charred place on the ground where I had been for three days now.

"Let me die, please, just let me die." I was whispering similar things over and over to the air, not aware of the presence watching me. I hadn't even heard the door open.

"You're not going to die, _dovahkiin._ " I heard a familiar voice and was able to roll my eyes back far enough to see him leaning in the doorframe; though the image was upside down from my current position, I still found room to admire. Alduins' dark hair was wet – sticking to his face here and there – and despite the amused smirk he was wearing, his crimson eyes were cold. I wanted to snarl, or scream for him to leave, but nothing came out besides a guttural groan. He slinked into the room, closing the door softly behind him, and moving so that he could sit on my bed and observe me.

"I tried to help you," He reminded, leaning back onto his palms as he cocked his head to one side, snickering at me. "We warned you this was coming, _brit._ **[beautiful]** " My tears didn't subside, and part of me was panicking. I was supposed to be keeping him in line, but here I was, defenseless and barely able to move, with no way to stop him from doing anything to myself, much less anyone else. I was at his mercy and there was nothing I could hope to do to change it.

"If you had let me claim you earlier, you wouldn't be begging the Gods to kill you now," Alduin purred, his eyes darkening slightly as his smirk widened. "Unfortunately for you, I won't be letting anything kill you any time soon. You may have changed my form, but I haven't by any means lost my abilities." Oh yeah. I had chained us together. I had chained myself to the World-Eater. If I died he could literally just Shout me back into the world of the living, and I would have dragged him along for the ride. How fucking stupid was I?

Sadly, his words were literally going in one ear and out the other at the time.

The only things that were processing was how beautiful he looked with the light from my window reflecting off his tanned skin; the way his scent invaded my senses. He smelled like rain and smoke and I wasn't sure why those two smells together was so _appetizing_ but everything going wrong in me was suddenly stilled when his fingers brushed against my cheek.

I inhaled sharply, initially flinching away before I realized his touch was not meant to be threatening; the second thought to roll through my head was how cold he felt. He rolled his eyes and lifted me from the cool floor, letting out a low growl when he realized how warm I was. Something in his gaze changed for a moment before he took a deep breath and laid me carefully on my bed. I whimpered as the furs rubbed uncomfortably against my sensitive skin; before I realized what he was doing, he had curled around me.

I gasped at the sudden coolness against my back, shuddering as he snickered into my hair. He adjusted his grip so that my head was resting against his arm, cooling one side of my face, and his legs were tangled with mine. Had anyone looked at us and not known the situation, it may have looked as though we were lovers.

"Relax, _brii_ **[beauty]** , I'm not going to do anything to you. Just sleep." Alduin sighed. "Stupid girl. If you had listened I wouldn't be stuck babying you like this. I had thought you would manage to overcome this obstacle," He grumbled, though I could barely hear him. My body was cooling the longer he held me, and his scent had apparently quieted the screaming in my head.

"Do you even know how close to death you are?"

I fell asleep before the question processed.

* * *

When I woke, I was alone; while I wasn't surprised at all, I was honestly confused. I sat up groggily, realizing it was morning from the way the sun was flittering through the curtains, and looked around my room slowly. It was clean, so Arngeir had probably picked it up from my last fit after I finally fell asleep. I felt sticky, and with a disgusted look, realized I had literally sweated so much that my clothes were sticking to me now; I promised myself a long bath now that I could move without causing the feelings of electrocution.

I looked to my nightstand and blinked in surprise, taking the mug of water and drinking it gratefully. My stomach growled, and I remembered I hadn't eaten in… a week? I almost spit my water back out at the thought, choking on it before forcing myself to swallow. I had been without a full meal that long, but I had literally had nothing the entire time I had been isolated. Thankfully, Arngeir had thought of this and left me some bread, cheese, and an apple with the water; I scarfed the food down hungrily before forcing myself to my feet. I needed to bathe, and then I would proceed to eat my weight in whatever I could find in the monastery, I swore to myself as I grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the bathing room.

" _Dovahkiin,"_ I was startled to meet Arngeir in the hall; he seemed equally surprised to see me. "Thank Gods you're finally awake." I blinked.

"What do you mean 'finally'?" I almost didn't ask.

"You've been asleep for eight days. We were beginning to worry you would not wake." I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or laugh.

"Uhm… I… I'm sorry." I said lamely, not really sure how I was going to explain, when I had no idea why I had slept so long myself. Honestly, I could barely remember falling asleep at all. I remembered being miserable and in pain, but how I got into my bed and comfortable enough to sleep was beyond my memories.

"I'm just glad you are better." The older man said gently, touching my arm softly. "You had a frightening fever; we were unsure what to do. Paarthurnax had us keep you cool with snow, though it dissolved shortly after we placed it." His voice was grave, and I almost wanted to laugh. Of course he wouldn't understand, and I'm sure Paarthurnax had thought it better to spare them the gory details of why I was in such a state.

"Thank you for tending to me, Arngeir." I murmured, feeling bashful for some reason. He nodded.

"Of course, _dovahkiin._ When you feel better, please come to the courtyard so we may speak." I smiled thinly, nodding, before making my way towards the bathroom quickly. I just wanted to get clean, eat, and rest somewhere cool for a while before they sent me on any misadventures. Really, that was all I wanted. But I knew now they were going to grill me on the how's and why's of my bringing human-Alduin to the monastery instead of killing him. Not because they distrusted me, but because they didn't understand my reasoning. And, truthfully, I didn't understand my own reasoning.

I locked the bathroom door, staring at the natural spring as I began stripping out of my clothes. I just knew this wasn't how things were meant to be. Alduin was not meant to die, and I would rather not throw him forward in time again. Arvakr was supposed to kill him, and he failed, so I did the only thing that seemed rational at the time. I tied his existence to mine. So long as we were tied he wouldn't be able to kill me without dying himself, giving me the advantage. I wasn't certain how I had used a four-word shout, but I had read they were not impossible; as long as he was in human form, he was crippled considerably in power.

I sunk into the water, shuddering as heat enveloped me. I let myself slip under the lavender scented water, wetting my tangled mess of hair. I had personally concocted the smells that filled this room now, after discussing things with Arngeir. The heated water as constantly being mixed with lavender oils because the scent was soothing and did a lot for internal healing and forcing one's self to relax. Or, well, that could have been the weak slow potion I had added it to. It didn't paralyze those who sunk into the water, but it forced them to relax, at least.

"I don't want to do this." I groaned, washing away the dirt and grime before swimming around the large pool. It was a natural spring underneath the monastery – self-cleaning and always warm. One of the few places in Skyrim that I could bathe regularly and not be chastised for wasting water.

Once I had had my fill of relaxing, I quickly dried myself and got dressed before making my way to the kitchen, grabbing some stew that was already prepared – probably Arngeirs doing – and sat at the small table, brushing my hair as I ate my fill. I briefly wondered why it was that I hadn't ran into Alduin yet, but judging from the time, I could imagine he was with his brother. Paarthurnax tended not to let him wander freely; I was pretty sure he even had him sleeping up on that mountain with him at this point. The idea amused me.

My white hair was pulled into a bun as I grabbed my warmest set of clothes; tugging on my cloak I tugged the hood over my head and made my way into the courtyard. The greybeards were gathered there, talking quietly amongst themselves as I approached. Arngeir turned to me with his gentle smile, and I was immediately curious about the tone of the conversation.

" _Dovahkiin,_ " He breathed, watching my approach with a kind look. "What is it you intend to do with Alduin?" _I knew it._ I frowned, turning my eyes to the ground with a sigh.

"I'm not… I don't know." I admitted, not meeting his eyes again. "He was going to win, so I did the only thing I could think to do in the moment." I missed the way Arngeirs eyes widened with realization, but I heard the awe in his voice.

"You had planned to have him die with you." I flushed red, wringing my hands beneath my cloak as I nodded.

"Yes. I had expected him to kill me at the same moment I tied us together," I explained, biting my lower lip. "But he didn't kill me, so… now I… I'm not sure what to do at this point." He nodded slowly, and I could feel his calculating gaze on me.

"You always had an aversion to killing him, didn't you?" I stiffened slightly, shrugging my shoulders.

"I had questioned if there was an alternative to it," I conceded, turning my eyes to his finally. "But please do not think for a moment I did this on purpose, Arngeir." He looked more amused than I had expected.

"Of course not, _dovahkiin._ I'm only wondering if fate had intended this all along." I raised an eyebrow, honestly confused as he laughed softly.

"Not everything is as it seems." He spoke softly, smiling gently. "Perhaps the path you chose to walk was more to Akatosh's liking." I wanted to laugh, wondering if he realized how absurd that sounded. But then again, maybe he was right – I couldn't imagine anyone would honestly want their son dead, regardless of what sins they commit.

"Is that all you wanted to know?" I asked after a moment, smiling slightly as I awaited his real topic of conversation.

"No, I'm afraid." Arngeir looked sheepish for a moment. "I was going to request you remove Alduin from the monastery." I wasn't surprised. I had been awaiting them to shoo him out – but now I was faced with the problem of where I would take him. If I brought him into one of the cities he could very well slaughter a town full of people if he wanted and there was little I could do about it. He was stronger than me; regardless of his form I was sure his Shouts were far superior to my own.

"I understand." I nodded anyway, though I was unsure what I was actually planning to do. I would figure it out.

"Thank you for everything, Arngeir." Surprising both of us, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders in a quick hug, before giving him a wide smile.

"You are always welcome, Faelynn." I was surprised he had used my name, though I suppose it was his way of reaffirming our relationship was more than that of mentor and teacher. Arngeir had become similar to a father-figure to me; my heart twisted at the idea of leaving him behind, but at his request I knew that I would be away for a long while.

"Thank you."

I made my way up to Paarthurnax, where I was correct in assuming Alduin was also. The large dragon purred in relief, dipping his head and nudging me gently. I stumbled, laughing a bit as I ran my hands over his nose affectionately.

"I am glad you are safe, _kulaas._ **[princess]** Arngeir was deeply worried when you would not wake." I flushed pink again, feeling bashful that I had managed to worry everyone. It was a first for me; usually I was quick to bounce back from injuries, so I supposed it was only afflictions of my dragons soul that could actually incapacitate me for long periods of time.

"I'm sorry for worrying you." I cleared my throat nervously, kicking the snow slightly. "The Greybeards have requested I take Alduin elsewhere." I told him, unable to force myself to look at the man in question, instead speaking to Paarthurnax. The ancient dragon did not seem surprised, though he did appear mildly displeased.

"And where do you plan to take him?" I bit my lip, chewing it nervously as I thought.

"I haven't decided yet." Alduin snorted from nearby, and I glanced at him from under my lashes. He seemed agitated I wasn't looking at him, but I refused to budge yet.

"You could lock him in Skuldafn." Paarthurnax murmured gently to me and I visibly winced.

"If he maintains the ability to Shout, it won't do much good." I informed him, shrugging a bit. "Locking him anywhere would not prove useful."

"I still do not understand why he is even still breathing." I thought it was my imagination, but I thought I heard agitation in his words. I had expected disappointment, maybe confusion, but never anger. To hear Paarthurnax speak, he had always loved his brother; it broke his heart to turn on him. I had thought if anyone would accept my actions, it would be him. Apparently he harbored some resentment he hadn't informed me of.

"Yes, _brii_ **[beauty]** , why am I still breathing?" Smug. He sounded so smug. I turned a sharp glare on him, forcing myself not to be embarrassed. There was no shame in losing to a God. There was no shame in being unable to compete with a creature that had existed since the first Era.

"Because you didn't blast me to pieces when I wanted you to." I tried to say it casually, but Paarthurnax still stiffened upon hearing it.

"Faelynn," His voice was an angry growl, and for the first time since meeting him, I remembered Paarthurnax was actually a dragon. Capable of literally biting me in half, had he felt the desire to do so; I felt my heart skip a beat. "What do you mean?"

"She tied herself to me, _zeymah_. **[brother]** She had intended to kill me along with her and the other dragonborn." Alduin sounded gleeful and I wondered exactly why he was so excited to share this with Paarthurnax – and why he hadn't done it before now.

"You would have killed me as well." So low. His voice had dropped deeply in pitch, and the rumbling growl was obvious. He was _furious_. I steeled myself, crossing my arms over my chest as I prepared to explain myself.

But then his words clicked into place in my mind; I felt my heart drop. Nothing I could say would be accepted, because he didn't care. The only thing he had realized was that my death would equal his own. For all his talk of killing Alduin, and how sacrifices needed to be made, he was unwilling to sacrifice _himself_? Me dying, Arvakr dying – the entire world _burning_ was preferable to his own death?

A word I was not used to associating with Paarthurnax was painted across my mind: _selfish_.

I was suddenly angry as my eyes flickered over to Alduins'. His knowing sneer was enough to tell me he had known exactly what Paarthurnaxs' reaction would be. I don't know why I was surprised by the realization Paarthurnax was like every other dragon I had encountered, but I was. It was a painful thing to come to terms with.

"You would have _killed me_." His roar was sudden; he spun towards me with wild eyes. I didn't flinch, despite the strong urge to do so when he leaned into my face, snarling furiously.

" _Zu'u meyar hi, Paarthurnax_. **[I** _ **own you**_ **, Paarthurnax.]** " I seethed, watching as his eyes widened, appearing stunned at my words. He jerked away as though I had slapped him, roaring into the sky again furiously.

" _Release me_." He demanded, and I tried to control my own pain as he lived up to his name. Alduin was snickering at the festivities, apparently amused that he had revealed his brothers true colors.

"And just what did you think you would do when I killed Alduin for you, Paarthurnax?" I couldn't look at him – instead, I turned to examining my nails. It was cliché and fake, but had I not I would have begun wringing my hands; in front of dragons I needed to maintain a strong front.

He paused, breathing hard at my words as he stared at me. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was planning, once you took into account this reaction.

"You waited a long time," I admitted, shaking my head slightly. "Hiding behind everyone else. Hiding behind Kyne, then the humans, then the Greybeards, and me. You wouldn't dare risk your own life to further yourself; it was only natural you should send Alduin forward in time rather than kill him. The humans would have hunted you all down in that time; _you_ couldn't revive them, because that isn't your proper role, is it?"

" _Kulaas– "_ He seemed to have come to his senses, trying to explain now. Back-tracking. I sneered at the attempt, tilting my head to one side.

"You're pathetic. Can you even fight your own battles? Or have you always just let someone else do it for you – I suppose Alduin handled all that for you, until you decided to betray your own blood for someone stronger, right? For a creature so smart, you really are foolish." I looked to Alduin, who seemed darkly amused at my speech.

"Oh, and also, your eyes lie." I informed him as I turned and began walking down the mountain, Alduin snickering as he followed me. I had a fleeting feeling that he may have been impressed with my quick deduction, but batted away such thoughts. After this confrontation, I was certain Paarthurnax would be taking to the skies; my invitation to visit the monastery was probably revoked the moment they heard his roar of outrage. I was proven correct when Arngeir gave me a sorrowful look upon reentering the building.

I gathered my things and fled faster than the night I left Cyrodiil, with Alduin following right behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

Things get a little darker, and I apologize for the otherwise filler-y stuff. We're finally getting into the actual "bonding" of Fae and Alduin, so I hope you enjoy it either way!

Reviews are always loved.

\- Razzella

* * *

|| Chapter Two ||

* * *

 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

* * *

I think my silence unnerved the mighty World-Eater during our trip. We wandered for a few days as I debated what would become of the world with Paarthurnax in charge of the dragons. It could swing one of two ways, and on one hand, I could find a way to turn Alduin back and let him rip the other dragon apart – but of course then I would have to deal with officially getting rid of Alduin, since I couldn't just let him rule the world and all – or, I could wait and see what he decided to do and hope that it wasn't "enslave humanity again".

My hopes were dashed when a dragon swooped down across from our campsite, roaring loudly to garner my attention. I recognized him immediately – as did Alduin.

"Odahviing." I said quietly, on guard as the larger creature eyed me. I stood, flames erupting in my palms as I swallowed thickly. Part of me was praying Odahviing was not here to steal me away – as I knew Paarthurnax was too much a coward to risk his own death in killing me.

" _Dovahkiin._ " He murmured in greeting, bowing his head slightly to me in acknowledgement. Alduin bristled beside me, apparently realizing how I had arrived at Skuldafn, but chose to remain silent.

"I suppose you're not here to chat some more." I said after a pregnant pause, watching him visibly droop.

" _Zu'u los zofaas ni_. **[I'm afraid not.]** " I felt legitimately sad for a moment.

" _Lig dreh ni dreh daar. Zu'u los fond do hi._ **[Please do not do this. I am fond of you.]** " I spoke quietly, not moving my eyes from his as he sighed heavily. He took a deep breath, and I readied myself.

" _YOL TOOR SHUL!"_ I leapt out of the way, shooting into the trees as Odahviing quickly shot into the sky; I threw a fireball towards him from my position at the tree line, taking a deep breath.

" _JOOR ZAH FRUL!"_ Odahviing had swung too close; I winced as I watched him plummet to the ground.

" _Gol._ "I added as I got close enough to hit him again. "You will fly to the Pale." I watched as Odahviing took to the sky several breaths later and flew off, frowning darkly as I glanced at our destroyed campsite. There was nothing salvageable, though I wasn't sure why I expected there to be after it was hit with dragon fire. I looked around for Alduin, seeing the halo of his soul through a few trees on the opposite side of the clearing. I also noticed his glowing eyes; to say that was eerie was an understatement as I approached the male.

"You didn't kill him." He observed, and I shrugged, flushing pink under his intense stare.

"He just does what he's told." His eyes narrowed thoughtfully as I glanced to the sky. "Nobody deserves to die for doing their job."

"We should move," I was mildly surprised to find he looked petulant for a moment. "I don't know how far he'll actually get before that wears off."

"My brother was right." He said after a moment; I paused to listen. "You would make a good queen." I spluttered at that, though he didn't see my mild alarm.

"Thanks, I guess?" I snorted, heading towards the road that would take us to Falkreath, where my horse was waiting. "I have no desire to rule anyone." I added as we reached my horse; I climbed onto her back, quickly followed by Alduin. I couldn't help but wonder how it was he picked up on using his mortal body so fast, but chose not to question it yet.

"That's a bold-face lie, _kulaas._ " Alduin snickered as we started off again. "I know of your heritage – dragons desire to control everything. It is no surprise you fled when you lost control of your country." I wanted to be angry. Truly, I had ever desire to throw him off the horse and beat him black and blue – but at the same time all I felt was tired at his analysis.

"You like to analyze everything, don't you?" I mused, sighing. "You don't know me just because you know yourself. What I am does not control _who_ I am." He shook his head behind me.

"You will accept your nature someday." He promised, sounding amused. I bristled at his words, trying to resist the urge to argue and prove his point.

"You're different than I thought you would be." I steered the conversation a different direction, and he chuckled; I could only assume because he knew what I was doing.

"What did you think I would be like?" He humored me.

"Egomaniac, cruel, angry, not-too-smart, way too talkative – y'know, typical evil villain stuff." He stiffened behind me and I knew I had insulted him, but I couldn't bring myself to care. He was still the creature I was "destined to kill", no matter what he was actually like.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing I'm not like you assumed?" I smirked at the half-question.

"I haven't decided yet. You're still an overly smug, perverted know-it-all, considering I turned you into a mortal man and have no idea how to put you back into your original form. I figured you would be angrier with me." His hand wrapped loosely around my throat at that; he leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Do not assume I'm not angry simply because I have not harmed you. Nothing would please me more than to snap your neck, but I am not keen on experiencing the feeling myself. The moment I am free of you, _dovahkiin_ , I'm going to do unspeakable things to you; I'm going to experience so much pleasure watching you suffer." His voice was sweet, as though he were telling me he loved me rather than such dark promises.

"But I'm never going to kill you, _mal jud_ **[little queen]** , oh no. I'm going to keep you alive as long as possible. I'm going to twist you, break you, and rebuild you; when I'm finished you will love every moment of torture I put you through." His fingers were caressing my throat, and I wondered briefly if he could feel the pounding of my heart under his fingertips.

"It was insufferable when you went into heat and decided to behave like an insolent brat," He murmured, tightening his grip slightly, though not uncomfortably. "I had not fully realized until that moment I felt everything you did; it was tortuous having to think about you lying in the other room, inconsolably afflicted with such a problem, and having to contain myself and suffer through it just because you were too proud to admit you needed me. Had the situation been different, I would not have shown such restraint; you can bet I would have done more to alleviate the problem than put you to sleep for a few days."

 _Oh Gods_ , _maybe I really had forgotten who he was._

My heart was thundering in my chest, and I knew he could feel it under his fingertips as I tried not to visibly panic. He released my throat after a moment, allowing me some space as I tried to right my thoughts. For now I had no reason to be afraid – he couldn't do me any harm so long as we were tied together.

"You don't even know the extent of which we're connected, do you?" He asked after a moment, sounding legitimately awed at my ignorance. I wanted to say something rude, or witty, or really anything to alleviate the current darkness of my situation – but nothing came.

"Stupid girl," Alduin chuckled darkly from behind me. "Despite having never had this Shout used on _me_ , I have used it on many. I will have mercy on you, _mal jud_ , and explain,"

"Body – I can hear your thoughts," I suddenly felt ill. My thoughts? Like, literally, every thought in my head or just –

"Only thoughts that have strong urgency with them." He answered, sounding amused. "When your emotions are running rampant I can hear just about everything." I just knew he was tilting his head with that stupid smirk on his face. I briefly wondered why it was Arvakr – or even Paarthurnax, that bastard – had never mentioned this to me? How humiliating that they just eavesdropped on everything in my head and _never even told me_. Anger pricked in my chest, making me scowl thoughtfully.

"You can hear mine, as well, should I ever have one that carries any urgency." He hummed, before continuing.

"I can feel every touch you feel, and every reaction you have to it." He added as he ran a cold finger down the back of my neck, causing me to shudder. My thoughts drew away from my mortification, remembering I was in the middle of nowhere with an enemy that had every intention of tearing my throat out as soon as he could.

"Heart – I feel your emotions. Even if your thoughts don't give away why, I almost always know how you're feeling. Well, "feeling" them is a stretch. I am always informed of how you feel, though it has little effect on me. Again, this should work the same way for you, should my feelings ever get too intense. Unfortunately, it takes more for you to get any sensations, since you're the _Ofaniik_ **[Giver]** , and not the _Ofaalin_ **[Receiver]**." I wanted to puke. Or maybe just kill myself. I wasn't sure which reaction was most appropriate. Had I known this would happen I wouldn't have –

"Wouldn't have done it? Yes, well, you made a mistake. It happens." Alduin teased before continuing on with the explanation. "Soul – I get to see that pretty pink halo of yours, no matter how far you get. I can find your _silsken_ **[soul-chain]** , as well. I will always be able to find you. Though, I'm not sure if the others maintain that ability." I frowned, wondering how it was they _wouldn't_ have the latter ability. It could prove problematic if Paarthurnax could literally follow this invisible trail to me.

"I believe it comes with the fact that you used your own essence to change my form, so I can find it anywhere." He added. "Human – you made me a mortal man, obviously. Your _silsken_ **[soul-chain]** was literally tied to mine because of this; I doubt you have that bond with one of the other two you bound to yourself."

"I didn't know." My voice was hoarse; I heard it crack slightly as he chuckled darkly.

"Yes, I figured as much. I assume Paarthurnax didn't explain what the Shout was for, did he?" I bit my lip, shaking my head slightly. He sighed, gently untying my hair so that he could pet it. I let him, for lack of any reasonable way to stop him on horseback. At least, that's what I told myself.

"I really do pity you, _dovahkiin._ You've been tugged this way and that by people you trusted, and the only one who's been entirely honest with you is your arch nemesis bent on watching you suffer." He sounded pleased. "Know that I will not lie to you as they have, so long as it does not harm me to tell you." I almost managed to crack a smile.

We arrived in Falkreath in a few more silent hours of contemplation; upon unlocking my home and walking inside, I was unsurprised to find Rayya was standing near the entryway, weapons drawn in her nightwear. I offered her a wide smile that didn't quite reach my eyes.

"Hello, Rayya. Thank you for taking such good care of my home." Her weapons were immediately dropped in relief.

"Please, go back to sleep. We can speak in the morning." She nodded wearily and went up the stairs to her room; letting the curtain drop across her doorway. I sighed, glancing at Alduin nervously, trying to decide where he should sleep. I could force him to sleep in my room, where I was sure I wouldn't wake to find Rayya dead – or I could risk it and let him sleep in the guest room, directly across from hers on the second floor. His red eyes met mine after a moment and he ginned deviously; that was enough to decide for me.

"You're sleeping in the guest bed in my room." I sighed, leading him to the master bedroom.

It was when the sun began rising to warn me of the morning that I realized I had never made him explain what the Shout was for, before finally falling asleep.

* * *

I sent a letter to Arvakr explaining the situation the next day, running a tired hand over my face as the courier took off down the road; I wondered if things would always be this way. Always I stumbling over my own feet trying to save the world from impossible challenges with Arvakr at my back bitching about the way I handled things.

"I'm going to kill your brother." I informed Alduin, casting my tired eyes over the male – who looked absolutely flawless considering the amount of sleep we got and the current situation. I was momentarily jealous of his recovery skills.

"Rayya, would you mind going into town and gathering some supplies for us? I'm thinking we're going to be sticking around for a bit, and I need to keep my presence here a secret." I explained the redguard woman, watching as her eyes lit with curiosity.

"But your enemies are dragons, correct?" I wanted so laugh at her.

"I have enemies of all shapes and sizes, Rayya." I sniffed, shaking my head slightly. "It's not unlikely that my current foe has someone – or _something_ – watching for me in the city. I can't afford to risk it." I was rather bitter that I had told Paarthurnax so much about myself; I silently vowed I wouldn't make the same mistake twice as the woman nodded before heading down the road towards town.

I locked the door behind her, wondering what exactly I could do now.

"So you intend to hide, then? How surprising." Alduin was leaning against the wall, munching on one of the apples from the table.

"Contrary to what people believe, I am typically non-confrontational. The only reason I took on the role of _dovahkiin_ was because at the time I feared Arvakr would continue to shirk his duties without me forcing his hand." I walked passed him, sitting at my dining hall table as I thought.

"When I asked the Gods for an adventure, I didn't think it would be "defeat the World-Eater", understand?" I heard him snicker softly.

"You're telling me I was defeated by a coward?" I wondered briefly if he was attempting to give me a backhanded compliment from his disbelieving tone, and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Excuse me?" I realized, too late, I had fallen into a trap; his crimson eyes glinted mischievously.

"I suppose you had intended that your companion would be able to defeat me for you," He purred, smirking at me as he leaned against a nearby wall. "Isn't that exactly why you turned on Paarthurnax so fast? Because he let others fight his battles?" I bristled.

"It wasn't _my_ battle – "

"And yet you were the one still standing in the end. It seems to me you lack the strength to accept the fact that you were the one I was meant to stand against in Sovngarde – why is that?" His head tilted to one side as my mouth dried up, uncertainty creeping into my heart.

"It was supposed to be Arvakr – " I tried again, finding myself startled as he was suddenly leaning over the table, face only a few inches from mine as his eyes glowed. I could see the interest dancing behind his gaze as he sneered down at me spitefully.

"You're afraid of me." The words were said with something akin to reverence as he purred to me; I stood abruptly, having every intention of fleeing from this situation. His hand wrapped around one of my wrists tightly and I'm ashamed to admit I flinched at the contact.

"Why?" I blinked, surprised by his question. Why what? Why was I afraid of him? Why was I attempting escape? Why _what_?

"You're always running from me," He explained, narrowing his gaze thoughtfully, as though I was some puzzle he was trying to solve. "But you didn't when it mattered. I could see it in your eyes then too – you were terrified of me – but you didn't run. You really meant to let us burn together. Why?" I honestly was more confused than when he started explaining.

"Because someone had to do it." That didn't sound right to me – and apparently not to him either as he tightened his grip. Why didn't it sound right? I wasn't lying – I really believed someone had to kill him, and being as I _was_ the last one standing against him, the options were slim – but I felt as though that wasn't the correct answer to his question.

"Let me go." The words were soft, but firm. As though he were reminded he was literally holding me in place, he scoffed and turned my arm loose.

"If you're really such a coward," Alduin murmured, scowling at me. "Why didn't you save yourself?"

The answer was obvious: _I wasn't a coward._ But he seemed genuinely confused. His words were literally not connecting together for me – the way his brain was jumping from question to question to explanations and theories. It wasn't making any sense to me. Why was he suddenly acting like he didn't understand the situation? I fought him, neither of us won, and here we were. Why all the questions?

"I really don't know what you're trying to figure out," I finally admitted after a long pause. "I went with Arvakr to Sovngarde, we fought you, neither of us won, and here we are. What are you trying to understand?"

"Why you're hiding from Paarthurnax when you came barreling into my own territory to kill me." Alduin responded as though I was stupid for not understanding and I wanted to throw my hands up in frustration.

"Then why not just ask that?" My voice jumped in pitch, my irritation making itself obvious as he grinned at me.

"Because I'm waiting for you to admit it." I finally threw my hands in the air at his cryptic behavior, reaching to tug at my hair in frustration. I walked away from the table with a groan, wishing there was some way I could force him to stay away from me for a while as I began skimming my bookshelf. I had read nearly everything here, but with any luck maybe I could find something that would give me something new to think about. Unfortunately, my tongue got the better half of me and I began expressing my agitation.

"I don't know what you're wanting me to admit. That I'm a coward? Fine, I'm a coward. I run from everything. I ran from my homeland, I ran from my responsibilities, I ran from Arvakr, I ran from the College, I ran from most every fight I've been challenged to – I'm a runner. I hide when it's convenient and I don't want to die, so I take steps to ensure I don't. Is that what you want to hear?" I wasn't looking at him while I was talking, but I could feel his amusement.

"What were you running _to_ , then?" I paused at his words, turning to question him some more, but he had already wandered upstairs; I couldn't force myself to follow him. I wanted him to leave me alone, anyway, so it worked out. And yet when I sat down to read through the old journal I had found many months ago, his questions were eating away at my brain.

Briefly, I wondered if he intended to drive me mad.

* * *

I was growing agitated again. It had been roughly a month since the last time I began throwing tantrums, and I wondered if I was going to go through this process every month until I did as Paarthurnax and Alduin kept insisting I do. I was sitting on my bed, rereading _The Art of War Magic_ for what had to be the thousandth time since I bought the blasted thing. I really tried to contain myself – truly – but before I had honestly considered my actions, I was ripping the book apart.

Page by page, I tore it out, and then proceeded to rip each page apart. It was relaxing to hear it rip, for some reason, so I continued with the motion for a good thirty minutes. I could feel Alduins' eyes on me from across the room; I debated the probability of him realizing where my agitation stemmed from.

"I'm assuming you're about to transform into a whirlwind?" He mused, and I turned my eyes on him irritably.

"Shockingly, I'm not in a very good mood."

"It won't stop until you give in to it." He leaned forward, propping his chin up with one hand. "I would be happy to assist you." That _smirk_. I felt my lips pull back into a snarl as I stood, casting a freezing look his direction as I headed for the door. I could go outside and destroy as much as I wanted around here without causing any real problems. Maybe I would even finally get rid of that stupid alter down the hill there.

Needless to say, when I tugged it open to find Arvakr and Delphine standing there, I wanted to scream. I didn't, but the urge to do so was there.

"So we were right?" Despite the seriousness of her tone, I could hear the underlying mocking. Why? Why couldn't Arvakr have come – _oh._ So my initial theory must have been correct, from the way his eyes were narrowed into slits. His body was stiff and despite everything I held nothing but sympathy for him as I waved them into the house, turning my back on them to wander to my dining hall. Alduin was already leaning in the door frame, grinning at the scene unfolding before him smugly.

"It took you a while to get here." I commented conversationally, grabbing an apple from the bowl on the table and biting into it. It felt _amazing_ to sink my teeth into something, but I tried not to think too much about that. Alduin sat beside me, chuckling softly as he shook his head.

"Aye. Sorry about that, Princess." Arvakr and Delphine sat across from me and I debated kicking the older woman in the shins. Both males at the table gave me different looks – one annoyed, one amused – and I reminded myself that they could get into my head if I didn't get myself under control.

"I want to apologize for the last time we saw each other, Delphine." _Control. Breathe in, breathe out, be the bigger person; you can do this._ "I did not come there with the intention of doing you harm." Oh, but I didn't regret a moment of it. Memories flashed across my thoughts and I felt Alduin shudder beside me; for the first time since he explained our bond, I somehow knew he thought the whole thing was hysterical. That made it funnier to me too, though I managed to maintain my calm façade.

"Yes, well," She seemed surprised. "No harm was done."

There was an awkward pause as no one spoke.

"Paarthurnax ended up being a prick then?" I twitched at Arvakrs words, letting out a small laugh.

"Yes, yes he did." Memories of Skuldafn flittered across my mind and I felt heat flood my cheeks. Arvakr had taken off from the monastery almost immediately after dropping Alduin onto one of the beds; he had barely paused to tell me goodbye. Needless to say, we hadn't spoken since our fight against Alduin, and I wasn't sure where our relationship was. After all, we weren't exactly on speaking terms beforehand either; had Odahviing not insisted I go as well, he wouldn't even have brought me.

"Do you happen to have a plan of action in mind already?" Delphine questioned, apparently willing to be the leader of our conversation.

"Besides keep Alduin as far from him as possible? No, I don't." I breathed, twirling my hair around one finger. It took me a moment to process her sudden stillness; I realized Arvakr hadn't informed her of the entire situation.

"Oh, Gods damn it all, Arvakr – are you _serious_?" I spit out venomously before she could say anything, turning my internalized fury on him for a brief moment. Delphine seemed equally outraged with him, though her glare was shifting between myself and him.

"You didn't even _kill him_?" Her voice was slightly raised and I felt myself growing angrier and angrier by the moment.

"No, I didn't." _What are you going to do about it?_ The words weren't spoken aloud, but apparently even she understood. Her face was red with fury, and despite how the situation was escalating, I was eager to watch her come undone. Any excuse to fight with her would work.

"How – How _stupid_ do you have to be?" She cracked after a moment of obvious attempts to contain herself; I felt the grin pull across my face before I could stop it.

"I'm sorry you weren't able to attend the final battle, Delphine, I figured you must have decided to save your own hide instead." I purred, feeling some tension leave my body as I antagonized the woman. She bristled, as expected, and prepared to retort when Arvakr loudly interrupted.

"Both of you knock it off." The urge to argue with him came over me, but was stilled when his eyes met mine. The silent plea melted my immediate agitation and I sighed, rolling my eyes as I returned to eating my apple. Delphine was still red-faced; I wondered how it was she was too stupid to put together that Alduin was literally sitting beside me. Obviously, the situation was mostly under control.

"Faelynn, please control yourself." I _know_ he did not.

"Arvakr, please think before you speak." I said sweetly, watching as his eyes flashed angrily. He couldn't resist the pull to argue either, apparently.

"You're purposely antagonizing her." He sighed, and I outright laughed.

"And how could you _possibly_ prove that? It's not like you can read my mind." I sneered, suddenly very aware of the fact he was feeling guilty. Alduin was finding the whole scene hysterical even now, and I could tell from his stiff posture he was trying not to laugh aloud.

For a moment I tried to remind myself it wasn't exactly Arvakrs fault. I was the one that tied him to me, and even if he hadn't told me he was hearing my thoughts, he probably assumed I knew of the situation before using it. My own ignorance didn't give me the right to take it out on him – if anyone was an innocent bystander to this all, it was him.

"Let's just move on." Delphine intervened, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Gods bless me, you two are insufferable."

"You mean _I'm_ insufferable, right?" I leaned forward, propping my head up. "Anyway, I agree, we should focus on Paarthurnax. I'm sure he's probably taken over Skuldafn, since the only way it can be reached is flight; obviously, none of us can fly." Delphine looked as though she wanted to scream, but managed to contain herself.

"I'm assuming since Alduin isn't dead, you have him subdued?" Her words were tired; I glanced at Arvakr pointedly. Delphine noticed my gaze and turned to look at him with a scowl.

"Delphine, meet Alduin." Arvakr finally said, glaring at the other male. The nord woman should have had whiplash, her head turned so fast; I tried not to laugh at her horrified expression when the tan male smiled to her.

"It's a pleasure."

* * *

They refused to stay in my home after that; on one hand I was glad – I wouldn't have to listen to their sexual adventures – but on the other, I was beginning to feel bitter that Arvakr and I couldn't get along. Nothing was even resolved by our short conversation. We had gotten nowhere; unlike last time, nobody had any idea what to do. After all, Paarthurnax had been the one giving us orders through Arngeir, and he wasn't exactly around to lead us by our noses anymore so we were at a loss. But, that was the least of my problems at this point.

My skin was prickling with heat, and I knew I would be inconsolable if I didn't do something quickly. I couldn't afford to sleep it off as I had last time, but I certainly didn't want to just… _bed_ someone. I had valued my purity for too long to just hand it over like this.

I pressed my face into my hands, wanting to cry.

"So I think I understand why you refused my offer before." Alduin spoke up from his bed across the room and I was reminded of the fact he was watching my every move – hearing my every thought. _Bastard_.

"Please, enlighten me." I hissed, eyeing him with some resentment. To my mild surprise, he looked very serious.

"You're in love with the other _dovahkiin_." I felt heat flood my cheeks, wondering why everyone managed to get that impression upon meeting us.

"I'm not." I responded tiredly, shaking my head. "We barely speak to one another anymore."

"Then why hold the torch for him?" Alduin wondered aloud, and I laughed.

"I'm not holding anything for him," My laughter refused to subside. "He's an imbecile that kills things for kicks and I'm a book-worm that couldn't even bring herself to kill the creature destined to end the world. We're two entirely different people who were literally only brought together through shared heritage."

"And yet you hate his mate and bonded him to you. Why is that?" I actually grinned at him.

"Would you believe me if I told you Arngeir asked me to bring him to High Hrothgar and I could think of no other way?" Red eyes gleamed across the room, the coals from the fireplace lighting him just enough for me to catch sight of his grin.

"No, I wouldn't."


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so sorry for the late update! I'm finishing off my finals and have run into some financial issues, but don't fret, the story will continue on, even if it is a little slow! There is Bonus Content at the end of this chapter [as an apology for being so late] that I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Also, I'm thinking I may try to do Arvakr's story alongside this one, but I'm not too sure at this point. What do you guys think? Would you be interested in reading them simultaneously or should I wait a while?

Reviews are always so loved.

\- Razzella

* * *

|| Chapter Three ||

* * *

 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

* * *

The pickaxe buried itself into the alter for the hundredth time since I started this adventure. I was determined to tear it apart today – to channel my raging hormones into something productive. It was already half destroyed, and I swore to myself as soon as it was finished I was going to build something else here. I didn't know what yet, but I knew something else was going to be here.

I was sweaty and unbecoming as I continued to wear away the stone, eyes fixated on it as I tried to clear my mind. Unfortunately, clearing my mind was quite the hassle. Every inch of me was screaming with heat again and I knew very well it was a problem I was going to have to handle soon. Putting it off any longer was going to destroy me again and this time I was faced with the issue of Paarthurnax bidding his time until he could capture me in such a state. After all, it wasn't as if he didn't know I was incapacitated for the better part of a month over it. Now would be the perfect time to swoop in and grab me and I'm sure he knew it very well.

"You're not exactly wrong about that." Alduin spoke up from somewhere behind me and I turned rapidly, naturally holding the pickaxe in an offensive position. He just smirked and tilted his damn head like apparently all men do.

"That's what I would do." He added thoughtfully, shrugging.

 _Gods damn it_. I tried to control my wandering eyes, feeling my heart beat a little harder against my ribs as I looked at the World-Eaters human form. Swallowing thickly, I tried to ignore how the dampness of his hair tempted me with water droplets making trails down his face and neck. I tried to ignore the way his crimson eyes held specks of gold that I never would have noticed in any other state – and the way his smirk insisted on twisting my stomach in a way that I tried to disguise as disgust. I was fighting hard to ignore the attraction I felt, and he knew it. _Bastard_.

"Thanks for the input." I muttered politely, turning back to the alter with renewed vigor; using the pickaxe more like a hammer as I slammed it into the black stone. Just break this down and I'll feel better, I told myself. Productive channeling was my strong-suit, after all.

"It doesn't have to mean anything, _mal jud_ **[little queen]**." Alduin spoke up after a moment, leaning against one of the nearby pillars. I gripped the pickaxe tighter, determined to ignore his advances. Every time I reacted to them he antagonized me more; this time I refused to play into his game.

"Says the man who expressed his desire to essentially own me to his followers." _And yet_ … I silently cursed my inability to contain myself, wanting to scream as I recognized his amusement through the bond. It was hard for me to resist an argument with him for some reason. I had better things to do and things that were infinitely more important to accomplish, but any time he came into the picture I couldn't resist his attempts to pull me into bickering.

"You seem to be under the impression mating you meant possessing you, to me, when that was never my intention." I hesitated on my next swing, but otherwise didn't react. His words had many implications in the event he was being honest with me, but I somehow doubted–

" _Know that I will not lie to you as they have, so long as it does not harm me to tell you."_

"I'm well aware of how you feel about me, but don't assume that feeling was mutual." He added and I knew very well then what he was implying. "I never had any intention of owning you, _mal jud_ **[little queen]**."

"Are you meaning to imply you just _liked_ me?" I demanded after a pregnant pause, turning to glare at him with disbelief – only for him to be gone by the time I did so. I was suddenly furious. _Why?_ Why did he insist on doing this? What was the point in all of these mind games? I was never going to release him from this bond, and I was never going to mate him. And he _knew this_ but for some reason kept telling me all of these things that made no sense to me. Or, rather, they didn't fit into the image I had of him in my mind. It was as if he was defying everything I had thought I knew about him, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

It was hard for me to imagine him as anything but a monster – and yet the longer I spent with him he was proving to be everything _but_ a monster. It was a frightening idea that monsters were just people as well. They were just people with different ideas about the way life should be lived and different ideas about the way things needed to happen. I don't know why the thought hit me as hard as it did when I had been exposed to people exactly like that – the Thieves Guild, the Dark Brotherhood, the Stormcloaks – they were all just people with different ideas. Some people agreed with them, and others viewed them as menaces to society. It was all just a matter of perspective.

Unfortunately, having Alduin literally in front of me was forcing changes to mine – and I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

The alter was gone by the time I made my way back up to the house that evening; I force myself not to think about Alduin any longer than I already had. Rather, I turned my attention to the problem at hand. I needed to escape to somewhere Paarthurnax would not be expecting me to be.

I wandered into my home with a tired sigh, narrowing my eyes slightly when I caught sight of Delphine and Arvakr sitting at my table. I briefly wondered how long they had been here without informing me, but chose to stuff those thoughts away for the moment. I was more distressed by the fact Alduin was sitting across from Arvakr with a grin that could only be described as unsettling plastered on his face.

Feeling awkward in my own home, I approached the table with a sigh and a brief 'hello' before sitting down beside Alduin. I noticed Arvakr bristle and wondered what exactly had been said to cause that reaction to me sitting across from him. Alduins gaze flittered to meet mine when I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, his grin softening into one I recognized.

"We need to kill him." Arvakr said simply – stiffly. I was saddened to realize being in the same room as the other male was exhausting me further. It was like him and Delphine sucked the very life out of me with their presence.

"Pardon?" I pinched the bridge of my nose as I spoke, hoping he wasn't doing what I thought he was. I was not in the mood to be bossed around like I was some toddler.

"Alduin needs to die. He should have died before we even left Sovngarde." He elaborated, and I knew he must have felt the agitation boiling up in me.

"And what brought on your sudden change of heart?" I questioned, rubbing my eyes as I tried not to focus too hard on how hot my skin was and how frustrated I was growing with my comrade.

"I didn't like the idea of you keeping him alive in the first place," Arvakr was speaking more carefully now, and I found myself narrowing my eyes at him as I awaited his insult. "And you've already proven that your judgement can become… _clouded_ when it comes to dragons." I took a deep breath.

"Arvakr, I think you should leave." The words were quiet with rage and hurt. "I only called you here to inform you of Paarthurnax's betrayal, and now that you have been informed I feel as though there is no longer any need for you to be here." That was a lie. I wanted him to be here. I wanted my friend to stay by my side as he had when we were a little younger; I wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. But he had changed. His eyes weren't playful when he looked at me anymore – he rarely grinned at me with the same friendliness. He was no longer my friend, and with this newest statement it was obvious he considered me more of a burden than a comrade.

"Faelynn, _listen_ to me." He pleaded, looking less harsh now. He seemed sad; I stared into his eyes, feeling something inside me breaking. Why? "He's changing you – just like Paarthurnax. They manipulate and control; that's just what they _do_ , Princess –"

"If you want to talk about change, we should probably discuss yours first." I interrupted, suddenly feeling cold at his startled expression.

"What?" So soft. His voice was soft, but guilty, and I knew he was aware of what I meant. Arvakr could see his own changes towards me, and that knowledge somehow made it easier for me to say what I needed to.

"You want to preach as though you're better than me because you're fine with the extinction of an entire sentient species. But the reality is that you're just as much a bigot as the woman you've been taking to bed with you these past few months. If you want to discuss manipulation, I think you should probably look at her first." He looked horrified, and for some reason I was both pained and pleased. My heart was breaking in my chest and I knew both males could feel it and somehow that just made everything even worse.

"And while you've been bedding her, you abandoned me. You stopped visiting, you stopped smiling, and you just generally started feeling like I was a nuisance. I'm not blind, Arvakr. It's pretty obvious from the way you attempted to exclude me from the fight with Alduin, and then abandoned me directly afterwards to my own devices, that you don't feel as though we are friends." He tried to interrupt, but I just talked over him.

"You don't want to be here, she doesn't want to be here, and I don't want the shell of a man I loved sitting in my house any longer - so _get out_." I stood and made my way to my bathing room, missing the way everyone at the tables faces reflected surprise. I also missed the literal snapping of the bond between Arvakr and me – though later that evening I would have the brief feeling that something was missing from me.

For the moment, however, I cried for the loss I'd been trying to ignore these last few months.

I just cried.

* * *

Admittedly, I was drinking.

I had broken the rule of wandering into town so that I could drink away my sorrows about an hour after Arvakr and Delphine had left, and it was starting to feel like a _great_ decision. The townspeople had offered me free booze for the night in celebration of me saving the whole damn world and I had accepted with some bitterness. Now, however, I was having a blast. There was more than one bard around the tavern this evening, and, as expected, the small group of musicians had been playing so much upbeat music I was literally fighting the urge to dance with the rest of the drunken idiots hanging around.

Laughter and good stories filled the hall, and I wondered why I hadn't come down from that damned mountain sooner. My life was too short to waste on something as petty as a broken heart when I could be doing things like this every night. I had left Alduin at the house with Rayya, and though that was probably a bad idea, it was better than tempting my drunken self with the handsome male. The more I drank the more obvious my attraction to the male was becoming, though it was only physical. His dark hair and bright eyes on that tanned, athletic body that towered over me was just too much of a combination for any woman to handle.

"Fae," Narri garnered my attention from my mead, grinning at me. Apparently Valga had given her the evening off on account of the celebration. "Dance with me." She was as drunk as me, it would seem. The woman grabbed my hand and dragged me off to dance rather sloppily around the room, laughing all the way. It was fun to be surrounded by so much positivity, and I found that despite everything, in this moment, I was happy.

"Mind if I cut in?" A laughing voice broke through our spinning and I caught sight of a tall, crimson-haired male gently interrupting us. Narri wiggled her eyebrows at me with a hearty guffaw before turning to dance with some random passerby behind us, making me giggle as the new man grabbed my hands and pulled me into a dance. He was _so tall_ I noted with some admiration, grinning up at him as I debated trying to make drunken conversation.

"And what should I call you?" I hummed, wondering how it was practical for a man to have such long hair. It was flowing around freely as we danced around the hall, and though I found it distracting, I felt as though this man seemed familiar.

"Viing," He responded after a moment, bringing my attention to his golden eyes. I felt like he should be familiar to me, though I couldn't quite place why. "And what should I call you, Dragonborn?"

"Faelynn." I offered cheerfully, smiling brightly as he grinned at me.

"What a beautiful name." I flushed, and he chuckled, spinning me away from him before pulling me back in; I tried to keep my footing despite the fact I was growing more and more disoriented as we danced.

"Thank you," I breathed, feeling my heart flutter a bit nervously. "I don't think I've seen you around here before. Just passing through?" I questioned, not hearing the slur in my words.

"Yes, unfortunately. I'm looking for someone." He admitted and nodded slightly, grinning.

"Most people are when they come through here." The end of my sentence was mostly a squeak as I was ripped from the males grasp; he let me go without much complaint. I stumbled, feeling my back land against someone chest as I dizzily looked up, trying to get my bearings. Tan skin, dark hair, super tall – yep, that was Alduin. But something was different from the way I normally saw him. His hair was longer – like Viings' – and I could have sworn I was seeing horns protruding from his head. Glancing back at the red-head, I noted he also had horns; confusion swept through my clouded mind. That wasn't normal.

"Ohdaviing," Alduins voice was like ice and I shuddered in his grip, suddenly feeling sleep trying to overtake me. "I would say it's good to see you again, but unfortunately you seem to have taken up arms with my traitorous brother." The red-headed man was grinning wildly, looking as though he took pleasure in the agitated tone of Alduins voice.

"Ohhhhdahviing." I hummed drunkenly, nodding slightly as the name he had given me clicked into place. That was obvious, wasn't it? _I must really be drunk._ "That makes sense." I didn't catch Alduins edgy glance down at me as I attempted to brush away his longer locks from my face. This was all quite strange for me. I wondered why everyone else was still partying – did they just not notice the two dragons in the room or was I just hallucinating this entire scenario. _Oh,_ I was probably dreaming. That made more sense.

My gaze was blurring the longer I stood there, and it didn't take a lot to realize I was unable to hear their hissing whispers as the world began spinning around me. I gripped Alduins sleeve in a weak attempt to keep myself steady as I leaned more heavily on him.

"I think I was drugged." I admitted to myself aloud, wondering briefly how that had even happened. It hadn't seemed likely that my companions in Falkreath worshiped dragons, but I supposed a few had to, didn't they? I mean, dragons are pretty God-like. Big, scaly creatures that spoke another language and flew around Tamriel definitely would seem God-like had I personally not known better.

"Of course you are," I heard Alduins muffled voice break through my reverie. "Stupid girl. Ohdaviing can poison those who touch him." His voice was full of disdain when he spoke to me. I murmured an awed 'ohh' as warm arms curled around me; Alduin was single-handedly keeping me upright at this point.

"That's neat." My eyes closed as though in slow-motion, despite the fight I was putting up to stay awake.

"Thank you, _kuulas._ " Odahviing snickered, sounding farther and farther away from me as I slumped into Alduins embrace weakly. I could feel my body quite literally failing me in this moment, and though I briefly wondered if I was going to die, that thought was quickly squashed. Odahviing couldn't kill me without killing Paarthurnax, and I doubted Paarthurnax would have enlisted Odahviing if he didn't trust him.

"Thanks for savin' me, _wuth dovah_ **[old dragon]**." I could vaguely hear laughter from somewhere as I slurred the joke out, but then I was sucked into what I was only half-certain was sleep.

* * *

I woke with a headache, and felt as though I had challenged a bear to hand-to-hand combat. Luckily, I woke in my own home, on my own bed, because the first thing I did upon waking was puke my guts up into a bin beside my bed. Whoever had been tending me had been perfectly prepared for such a problem, it seemed. My body was sluggish and weak, and though I had vague memories from the night before, it was all mostly a blur; I wondered how it was I ended up back in my home.

"I carried you." Alduin answered from across the room, not looking up from his book. "You were poisoned by Odahviing and fainted, so I carried you." A flush graced my cheeks as I scrambled to grab that memory, though it was very much elusive.

"I… I don't…" I coughed slightly, clearing my throat as I trailed off.

"Remember? Yes, I made sure you wouldn't." My eyebrows drew together in confusion. He must have sensed as much, because he sighed and closed the book with a snap. Standing, the taller man made his way over to me from across the room, sitting at the foot of my bed as he ran his fingers through his hair. Something flickered through my mind – a memory of him having longer hair than that.

"Every dragon has a unique ability," He started, sounding agitated with having to explain. "Odahviing can poison those who come into contact with his skin, I can alter memories, Paarthurnax can control minds – it is something that humans have forgotten over the years we've been gone. Hatchlings generally discover their abilities before the end of their first year; as they grow their ability does as well." This new knowledge made me feel sick again; I showed as much when I vomited into the bin again. Alduin made a disgusted noise, leaning very slightly away from me as I got myself back under control and collapsed into my sheets again.

"Generally speaking, a family will have similar abilities pertaining to one thing. I and Paarthurnax pertain to the mind, Odahviing and his clan pertain to physical ailments." He continued after a moment, watching me turn whiter the longer he spoke.

"Does this knowledge displease you?" I heard an amused undertone and narrowed my eyes at him.

"What _else_ can you do that history has failed to mention?" I demanded, wondering just how much we didn't know about them. I was beginning to see why exactly they were worshipped, if there were more things like this missing from the puzzle.

"We can take on human forms," He shrugged, sounding as though the news was boring to him. "It is quite useful at times, though I rarely belittled myself in such a way." _Deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe out - don't faint._ I wanted to cry. It was unsettling how little we knew about our enemy in this day and age; they were ancient creatures built for battle and what were we? Essentially their food source.

"How many of my memories have you wiped?" I asked quietly after a moment, watching as his face lit with warped satisfaction.

"Just enough to see if you would notice." He sounded so amused – so pleased. I wondered what exactly I had forgotten. "Can you remember the first time you experienced _frin_ **[heat]**?" I nodded slowly, the agonizing fire coming to mind as I shuddered. His grin only grew.

"Do you remember falling asleep?" I tried to think back. Arngeir had told me I had fallen asleep at some point – I was asleep for eight days, I believe he said – but the memory of actually sleeping was gone. I couldn't remember climbing into bed that fateful day, or what had come before outside of agonizing heat.

"Of course you don't – because I didn't want you to." Alduin purred, then, before I could dodge the sudden movement, his fingers had gently pressed against my forehead. Light erupted before my eyes and I was briefly blinded as the memory flooded back. Him leaning against the door – then carrying me to bed. Wrapping himself around me and calming my worn body – him murmuring to me in the moments before I fell asleep.

My face must have turned several shades of red, because I heard him laughing loudly as his fingers drew away. Surprise floored me when I caught sight of the dark-haired male, watching him hunch over with laughter. It made him look more human, and my initial outrage was cooled as his laughter became infectious. My giggles were coming out slightly strangled as I tried not to laugh with him – wanting to be angry. I wanted to yell at him for doing such a thing, but all it took to disarm me was his slight snort mid-laugh and those thoughts quieted in favor of my own laughter.

I wasn't sure what I had anticipated his laughter to be – maybe like evil cackling you read about in books, or maybe I thought he didn't laugh at all – but it definitely wasn't what I expected. It was deep and breathless, and every time he inhaled he let out something akin to a snort and it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. I was stunned, naturally, but in the moment I couldn't stop laughing at his laugh no matter how much I tried. Imagine – Alduin, the Great World-Eater, snorting with wheezy laughter. I was beside myself.

When we finally managed to gather ourselves he gave me a lopsided grin and I offered a shy smile in return, unsure what exactly we had just shared, but feeling as though it was bordering on intimate. I didn't realize what sharing an intimate moment with Alduin would mean for me in the future, but as I watched him exit the room I couldn't help but wonder if he was just misunderstood. The thought was squashed quickly as I reminded myself – not for the first time – of who he was. Of _what_ he was.

" _What I am does not control_ who _I am."_

He had laughed at me that time, and I had been angry, and yet I was essentially doing the same. Was I being too harsh? Was I condemning him on word of mouth alone, as he had done me? I scratched at my mind for a memory of something evil I had _seen_ him do. He devoured the souls in Sovngarde, and destroyed Helgen. Arvakr had been there that time, if I was not mistaken; he had seen Alduin with his own eyes burn down that village and slaughter everyone nearby.

But why wouldn't he?

He had been tossed through time by the former heroes of humanity, and when he came back all the dragons were dead and humans had taken over everything. Why wouldn't he have lashed out? If there was anything I had noticed about dragons it was that they were prideful creatures; to have arrived in the future and realize his kin had lost their homeland in his absence must have been devastating. For him, burning down Helgen was long-awaited retribution for what they had done to his kind.

I felt a pang in my heart. He must have searched for days before he began resurrecting dragons. He must have tried to find them, and upon failing realized that he was all that was standing between his kin and extinction. How painful that must have been for him gave me pause; I shuddered at the idea. Dragons may not have felt love, but I knew they could feel kinship. Well, amongst one another anyway.

Still feeling weak, I decided it was probably best if I get cleaned up and eat something; I made my way to the bathing room with sluggish steps, barely managing to clean myself up before I had to drag myself to the dining room table. It was like everything was going in slow motion for me as I ate, and I knew it was something Odahviing had done to me to keep me subdued, but it was infuriating.

I decided after eating that I should probably try to figure out where I was going to hide now that Odahviing had made it clear he could find me here in my own city. Chances are he had already located my home and was just waiting around to snatch me up when Alduin wasn't around. It was a pain to admit, but having Alduin around was probably the only thing keeping them from taking me. After all, I doubted anyone but myself or Arvakr was gutsy enough to go toe-to-toe with him. That was kind of the reason we had ended up going to finish the World-Eater off in the first place.

I pulled out my map, scanning it quickly as I debated where a good hiding place would be. Preferably somewhere isolated, because I was certain that eventually Odahviing – or whichever dragon got to me first – would attempt to hold a village hostage to make me comply. That immediately removed most every village and town from my options. Maybe an old ruin would better suffice? They were already naturally defended with traps and other nasty creatures crawling around. That compiled with the fact that they were easy to hide in… I took a deep breath, nodding slightly. Now just to decide which one would be the best option.

Naturally, nobody wanted to hide in old ruins, but given the option, I immediately thought Dwarven; once I narrowed everything down, I selected my hiding place to be Mzulft. I knew it fairly well, as Arvakr and myself have delved deeply into it during our misadventures. I had hated it at the time, but looking back, it seemed like it would be a decent hiding place as long as I could ensure the natural enemies contained inside didn't kill me while I slept.

Rubbing my face, I let out a long sigh and stood, returning to my room so that I could gather up the needed supplies and prepare to start my next big adventure: defeating Paarthurnax.

* * *

 _Bonus Content_

* * *

"Alduiiiiiiiin~" Faelynn whined and the dark-haired male looked to the heavens as though to ask what exactly he had done to deserve this. The white haired woman had been trailing along behind him, stumbling over her own feet as they wandered through the darkness heading towards her home. After he had frightened Odahviing off, he had been forced to carry the drunken woman from the tavern, only for her to awaken several minutes into the trip and demand she be allowed to walk.

"Don't be so mean." He turned back to raise an eyebrow at her, agitated with her childish behavior. To his amusement, she was wearing a pout on her flushed face; he took a moment to admire her features. The girl clearly had both man and mer in her – from her tiny stature, yet sharpened ears. She was currently sporting puffed cheeks, though he knew that her cheek bones were high and regal; she generally had a very slender appearance. Her eyes were a bright, rosy pink that almost appeared red around her pupil, and though her skin was naturally almost snow-white, she very nearly always had a blush painting her face. It was one of his personal favorite looks on her – flushed pink and furrowed eyebrows.

Her hair was currently free from the usual bun – which he vastly preferred – and was framing her face in a way that made his heartbeat splutter for a moment, to his discomfort. She was beautiful, if he was being honest with himself, and it took a great deal of restraint to keep from reaching out to her when she attempted to stumble closer to him, appearing quite frustrated as she tripped over roots and bushes alike.

He knew she thought him a monster, and though she was not wrong in some accords, she was also completely ignorant to anything else about him. He doubted she _wanted_ to know anything else about him, and that irked him more than he was willing to admit.

Alduin was pulled from his reverie when she quite literally fell into him – her face slamming into his chest with enough force to push them both slightly backwards; he let out a low growl as she regained her footing. She turned her head up to look at him and his breath fled his body. She was the picture of innocence with her big, bright eyes and her lower lip just barely quivering.

"Ouch." Nervous laughter left her body as she attempted to rid them of the silence, but he was momentarily enraptured. He wondered briefly if she was having similar thoughts, from the way she had yet to turn away from him, much less scramble back as she would have done had she been sober. Her thoughts had been strangely quiet since she had begun drinking, and it was beginning to make him curious.

" _Hi los brit._ **[You are beautiful]**." He strained to hear her words – just barely audible in the still of the night. Her lips were just slightly parted and he found himself struggling with his natural instincts more than usual as she brought herself fully upright before him. Her eyes never left his, despite the fact her eye level was just barely at his chest; he found his hand brushing stray hairs behind her ear before he thought better of it.

" _Ahrk hi los meyus, dovahkiin._ **[And you are foolish, dragonborn.]** " She smiled up at him – a brilliant sight that he carved out in his mind. She gestured him lower, and he cocked an eyebrow, smirking at her unusual behavior. He leaned down as she rose onto her tiptoes, appearing as though she meant to tell him something. Needless to say, he was startled when her true intentions became clear.

Soft lips pressed to his own, and while he was aware of her current state, and the inherent _wrongness_ of humoring her advances, one of his arms curled around her waist while the other found its way into her hair; he pulled her flush against him. A soft mewl of approval could be heard as he deepened the kiss; he chuckled softly at the feeling of timid fingers knotting loosely into his hair. It was actually in that moment he was reminded that he had yet to shift back into the human form she had given him; he forced himself to release the delirious dragonborn.

Alduin looked upon her confused, yet pleased, face and let out a sigh, shaking his head as he ran cool fingers over her cheek. The girl fainted at his touch, and he carried her home.


	4. Chapter 4

Yikes, it's been a while. Sorry about that, folks! But here's the next installment and hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently now.

Reviews really do inspire me to keep going, you guys!

\- Razzella

* * *

|| Chapter Four ||

* * *

 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

* * *

Gods bless me, I had forgotten how tiring travel by foot was. Stalking through the wilderness – because it had been decided that while roads were safer, they made us infinitely easier to find – I had decided I hated traveling more than anything else in the world. Naturally, I had packed a light load, though it was heavier than I normally would have carried. After all, I was basically moving, and I needed to be sure I carried everything I needed to continue living and plotting my defeat of Paarthurnax. What a strange string of words that was. We were currently still trekking the forested area around my home, but already I was feeling completely exhausted.

Not to mention, the burning sensation dancing across my skin had yet to fade away; I wondered if I was becoming more numbed to it as we went on or if Alduin had something to do with my ability to move. Glancing at the dark-haired male from the corner of my eye, it was plain to see he felt absolutely fine; that made me agitated.

"Yes, I am channeling some of your discomfort away. Approximately half, if I'm not mistaken." I blinked, then flushed pink as I glared forward once again.

"Stop doing that." It became clear I should have been more specific when every nerve ending in my body came alight; I let out a started wail as I collapsed to my knees, immediately overwhelmed. Alduin stood over me, sneering as I tried to gather myself under the sudden assault to my senses.

"… Oh, did you mean listening in on your thoughts?" And just as quickly as it came, the flames under my skin dispersed and I shuddered violently. His innocent tone of voice made it obvious he was teasing me, and with this knowledge in mind I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You know exactly what I meant, you bast – " I don't think I could ever properly describe what it felt like – having all of those… _urges_ dulled, and then so suddenly dropped on me once again. It was as if someone was dunking me under ice water. Just when you have enough time to breathe, your dragged back under and have to wait it out until whoever is holding you there decides to let you back up.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He was outright grinning now, watching me writhe as my clothes grated against my skin and his scent invaded my senses.

" _Alduin,_ " I hissed, shuddering as he licked his lips – a slow, sensual action that immediately shot lightning down my spine; he snickered, apparently pleased with his teasing as I snarled out curses.

"You could try being a little more grateful. Where do you think all this excess 'discomfort' gets stored when it's not inside of you?" … _was that an innuendo?!_ I tried to beat away the depraved thoughts that came with this disposition as I turned my attention to the ground and steeled myself for my next words.

"Alduin, _please_ stop." And just like that, the feelings were gone again and I was left winded and jittery. I managed to swallow down my distaste with being forced to plead with the _dovah,_ though I still felt shame heating the back of my neck. Asking him to help me through something that was so intimate and personal felt like a betrayal to my morals, and I'm sure he knew as much. Hell, he was probably taking some kind of twisted satisfaction in his small amount of control over me.

Breathing deeply, I forced myself to my feet, refusing to turn my attention to him as I righted myself and began moving forward again. Had I had the guts to look up, I may have noticed the look of surprise that was lighting his face, but unfortunately I was too busy wallowing in my disgust to even wonder what his reaction would be to my moment of politeness. Truly, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but when twenty minutes passed and the male didn't comment, I found myself casting curious glances his direction.

I tried to will away any interest I found myself with, but the longer the silence drug on, the harder it was. He looked completely unbothered and neutral, and for some reason I caught myself eyeing him with less of a clinical eye and more of an intrigued one. I could clearly see the small twitch of his lips from my angle, signaling me to the fact he knew very well I was watching him, but he still refrained from acknowledging me. And for some reason that bothered me more than it should have. I forcibly turned my eyes ahead of me for a moment before the urge hit me again, and I was staring into bright ruby eyes against darkened skin this time.

"If you keep staring, I may get the wrong idea." Alduins voice was smooth and unbothered, as if me glaring a hole into his head was an everyday occurrence for him. I turned my gaze sharply, turning my body slightly as I stepped further away from him in one subtle, fluid motion.

"Don't flatter yourself." I mumbled, despite the warmth currently spreading up my neck. I couldn't deny that as a woman, he was definitely attractive. In fact, I don't believe I had attempted to deny it at any point, truly. He was gorgeous in ways I couldn't describe, and despite my acknowledgement of that, the fact that he was almost constantly amiable and undeniably fun to interact with was both grating my nerves and lulling me into a sense of familiarity I didn't want.

"You could simply admit you find me attractive," He purred, and I knew he was eyeing my flushed cheeks. "It's not as though I don't already know." _I have admitted it – to myself. Bastard._ I rolled my eyes at his arrogance, fighting the grin threatening my lips.

"Unfortunately there's nothing to admit. I don't find dragons attractive." There was a teasing note in my voice as I brushed some stray hair behind my ear, smirking at him slightly. He looked amused, though there was a dark look in his gaze that forced me to avert my own once more.

" _Unfortunately_? Are you implying you are otherwise interested, outside of appearances?" Well, I supposed if you looked hard enough at my words that would be what I was implying. My mouth dried up as I tried to come up with a witty retort, only to be found wanting.

"You know very well I-I am not." I cursed myself as I stumbled over the words, feeling my heart flutter slightly as a knot formed in my stomach. I sniffed in annoyance, upping my pace and hoping he took the hint that I was no longer interested in our conversation. He didn't.

"My, my, it seems I've hit a nerve." He hummed, chuckling as he easily kept pace with me, his red eyes boring into the side of my head. Rather than add more fuel to his fire, I simply refused to respond – keeping my eyes determinedly ahead of me.

"Do not worry, _brii_ , I hear often it is not uncommon among mortals to lust after creatures of dark power. It is a common trait among _dovah_ as well." Alduin murmured, his voice teasing. Somehow, my next words felt like the most embarrassing thing I had ever said.

"So, I basically have a double dose of 'mate a villainous bastard' embedded into me. Lovely." His laughter was almost worth the mortification of my words once I realized the implications. After all, he was probably the most villainous creature I knew of; I just knew he was going to connect that together instantly. He seemed to move closer to me, so I carefully stepped away in order to put more distance between us.

In hindsight, I probably should have been flattered. Here was this creature – millennia old, ancient, and powerful – and he was interested in me. A little mortal woman with the soul of a dragon, who was otherwise just like everyone else. He deliberately sought me out, announced his intention to claim me as his mate, and even went so far as to be somewhat pleasant to me. I don't know why I didn't realize how much of a completely insane notion that was in the moment.

"You are quite charming, _kulaas_." I tripped over my own feet, though I somehow managed to straighten myself out with some grace as his words processed. He found me charming, and called me princess in one smooth motion. I wasn't sure how to respond to his words – it was a full-blown compliment, not backhanded or with some ulterior motivation like his previous words.

"Uh.. th-thank you?" I stuttered out, admittedly flustered as I glanced over to see his expression. His eyes shone with a curious gleam, and his mouth was tilted into a crooked grin that very nearly stole my breath away.

"There is no need for thanks. I am simply commenting on an integral part of your personality." The words were so matter-of-fact I almost wanted to roll my eyes as I glanced around us. We had been walking for the better half of a day, and I was certain we should have reached a town by now. I frowned thoughtfully and pulled out a map, scanning the page curiously as I chewed my lower lip. It looked as though we were heading in the right direction, but by my calculations we should have already been through the forest and entering plains territory.

"We are off course." Alduin confirmed simply and I turned a sharp glare on him as he raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"I thought it best not to mention as much to you," His shit-eating smirk was back and I wanted to groan at my naivety. Of course there was an ulterior motivator for his amiable behavior. "Your selected destination would not be a wise safe haven for you." I wanted to scream, folding the map up and stuffing it back into my bag, steeling myself as I turned to face the World-Eater.

"And why is that?" My voice was icy and for a moment I thought I saw regret flitter through his ruby eyes before it was replaced with amusement.

"My brother knows you." Alduin said simply, as though that should explain everything. When I gave him my best dead stare, he sniffed in amusement and continued.

"He would know where to seek you out – perhaps we should consider seeking out one of my own safe havens." The thought had never crossed my mind, but now that he had essentially thrown me off course with his antics, I was less open to the idea.

"So instead of simply mentioning that before, you manipulated me into growing distracted and subtly lead me off course. That definitely makes me want to trust you." My anger was boiling - most of it stemming from the sheer embarrassment of his plan actually _working,_ but also because I should have known better. I should have known better than to think for even a moment he would willingly be pleasant, if not mildly embarrassing, company for any other reason than to manipulate me. Gods, how _stupid_ was I? How could I have ever even let the idea cross my mind that he might actually be showing some legitimate interest in my company?

 _It won't happen again._ I promised myself as I began looking around, ignoring the darker male.

As though he heard such thoughts, his expression darkened as his eyes narrowed in my direction. I ignored him. My face was warm with shame as I turned from him and began walking again, hopefully in the correct direction, but between my inner turmoil and his apparent tricks with misdirection, I supposed I couldn't very well be sure until I found a town. The remainder of our day was filled with tense silence; my rage hadn't cooled by the time we made camp in the evening.

However, by this point I was dealing with the truth of my emotional turmoil with our precarious situation. I felt _betrayed_ by him. Which was foolish – I shouldn't have felt betrayed because I shouldn't have put enough faith in him to even incur such feelings when he inevitably turned on me in one form or another. I had only known him – the true, mischievous Alduin, that is – for a few weeks. And despite his placated behavior, I was forced to remind myself that he had indeed threatened my life as soon as he was freed from our bond. He had promised torment so great I would be reshaped; I held onto that memory as my rage cooled to bitter disappointment. With myself, him, or just the situation, I was not sure. Probably all three.

"Are you going to stew in your thoughts for the remainder of our time together, or will you finally listen to me?" Alduin spoke up, apparently sick of the silence.

"I am simply reminding myself that you're evil by nature and I was foolish to listen to you at all." My words came out sounding more hurt than I meant for them to, and heat flooded my features.

"So, no, I'm quite content to stew in my thoughts." I felt a trickle of irritation slip through the bond as I stood, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed with the weight of my emotions again.

"I'm going to gather more firewood." Storming off, I wandered into the darkening forest without much thought. We were literally surrounded by wood; there was no reason for me to go stomping off into the wilderness besides the fact that I wanted to put some distance between myself and the infuriating male. I needed the distance like I needed air; as soon as the light from our fire was out of sight I finally let my rage boil over.

" _STRUN BAH QO!"_ Lighting struck nearby, and I quickly followed the demonstration with several other shouts that effectively replaced the dense forestry with a new clearing. Once more, I was left in the center of the destruction, only this time I was pacing in my agitation. Apparently being in heat made me less easily tamed than the first time I had felt this way and left destruction in my wake. Rage was still very much present as I turned on my heel, continuing with my pacing as I tried to calm myself.

An enraged scream tore through the night and it took me a moment to realize it was me, the world seeming to shake under the weight of my thu'um. I spun around, throwing out fireballs and effectively setting fire to the forest surrounding me without much thought. My throat was sore from the overuse of my thu'um, but as I watched the trees begin burning around me, the tightening in my chest began to release me. Had I been in my right mind, I would have realized how catastrophic what I was doing was, but for some reason the thought of how much destruction I was causing never even crossed my mind until a blast of icy air came from seemingly nowhere and put out my mess that was spreading rapidly.

In the next moment, I was on my back, staring up into wild red eyes with familiar specs of gold; the male snarled down at me with obvious irritation.

"Are you trying to alert everyone to our presence, or have you just lost your mind?" Alduins words went in one ear and out the other as I breathed deeply; staring up at him for a long moment, I saw realization cross his face, before the words came toppling out of my mouth.

" _FUS RO DAH!"_ The male was shoved off of me and I rolled onto my feet, never taking my eyes off of the male as he regained his footing, hissing in distaste as I stalked around, circling him with no real plans in mind. I just needed to – to do _something._ I was so _angry_ I couldn't stand myself. The urge to attack was warring with my naturally docile personality; my skin was alight with dragon fire once more. Somewhere in my mind I knew it was because Alduin stopped siphoning off half of my affliction when I threw him off me, but the thought was silenced by the screaming that was taking over my thoughts rapidly.

"Faelynn," My name rolled off his tongue and I shivered at the sickly sweet sound. "You need to calm yourself." He was turning slowly to keep in time with my circling, watching me with intense eyes. Words were evading me between the coiling heat surrounding me and the screaming in my head; I was certain he could hear the way my heart was hammering in my chest. Alduin would tell me later he knew I was not myself from the size of my pupils, blown so wide he could barely see the pink of my iris.

"If you don't control yourself, you're going to be in a position you will later come to regret." His eyes briefly heated as I paused in my steps, the beginning of a snarl coming to my lips. Stunningly, it was the feeling of rain drops bouncing off my head that snapped me out of my rage. Almost immediately, we were engulfed in a downpour; the water soaking my clothes and cooling my skin.

It was like someone poured a bucket of water on my face while I was sleeping; I gasped as though waking from a bad dream, suddenly realizing what I had done. I had almost burned down the forest – I had _wanted_ to. The feeling of having no control of myself was horrific, and Gods bless me, when I sank to my knees under the sheer shock of it all, Alduin had the good sense to approach slowly.

"What's happening to me?" I asked softly as he kneeled in front of me, frowning thoughtfully as I looked into his eyes. The heat under my skin began receding again, and I felt instant relief as my muscles uncoiled.

"You fighting your instinct to find a mate is driving you insane." He said it softly as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I flinched at the contact, feeling agitation getting the better of me as I swatted his hand away.

"I was just mad at you." The excuse sounded weak even to my own ears, and I hated the tilt of his lips, turning my eyes to the ground as his teasing came.

"Truly? You were eager to watch the forest burn down around us because you were angry with me? I'm flattered." I felt warmth flood my cheeks, barely aware of the way the rain was soaking through my clothes. He would be flattered that a girl was eager to burn the world down due to his antics, wouldn't he?

"No, _brii_ ," He was closer now, tilting my face up slightly to meet his gaze once more. "You're burning from the inside out, regardless of my _antics_. You need relief." The words sounded so sensual coming from his mouth that I found myself stumbling backwards and practically climbing up a nearby tree as I stood. He rose gracefully from his position, a smug grin tugging on his lips as he approached once more, stopping just close enough to my body that it was in my personal space, but far enough away I could slip away without brushing against him.

"I'm sorry." The words were like a slap in the face. My surprise must have been plastered all over my face, since he chuckled softly. "I felt your betrayal earlier; I did not realize you had developed such a fondness for me. I assumed you would be unwilling to listen to my idea if I did not coerce you into a situation in which you had no choice. I meant you no harm – emotionally or otherwise."

I would have sworn I had whiplash from his erratic behavior – or maybe I was the erratic one? I wasn't sure at this point – but regardless, I felt warmth in my chest from his apology. From the small smile gracing his face, I was positive he had felt my reaction; almost immediately all my fight drained out of my body. Now I was just tired and distinctly aware of the itching heat under my skin.

"It's alright." My voice was hoarse, and I was admittedly shy as I ducked my gaze from his, a shiver running up my spine that I swore was due to the rain and not his proximity.

"So what's your idea?"

* * *

The next morning was awkward.

Mostly on my part, but I could tell Alduin was not as bold as he normally was as we packed up our camp and began preparing for our trip. Apparently he had a mystical safe haven near Solitude that could only be accessed by him. He had briefly explained it was a space between worlds that he had carved out himself a long time ago, but naturally I had been wary about it. Being trapped with the World-Eater in his own domain sounded just ridiculous, but I honestly couldn't think of a more secure location. Since it was only accessible by him, I would be able to plan and plot in peace as long as my dark companion didn't decide to betray me; somehow I felt like I could believe he wouldn't.

"It will take us longer to reach our destination," Alduin was the one to break the silence. "So we should prepare to stop more frequently." I nodded slightly as we started off, this time with him in the lead. He seemed to have a natural compass built into his mind; I was fine with not being in charge for once. As far as our safety went, I knew he wouldn't let me fall into the wrong hands for the simple reason that he had no desire to be tormented or murdered if I was captured.

"You should try this," He spoke after a long ten minutes of silence, passing me a vial. "It should help keep your temperament controllable." I blinked in surprise, taking the glass nervously and examining it. I wasn't sure at what point he had been able to make whatever potion this was, but I was grateful regardless. It would be great to feel like I was in control of myself again. I _wanted_ to be in control of myself again – so badly it almost caused me physical pain, in fact.

I raised a curious eyebrow at the mixture, trying desperately to ignore the fact that I was very much aching. Since the evening he had explained why I was so violent and emotional, I had been trying to keep a grip on myself. But once he pointed it out, I could see it in myself. The moodiness was probably the worst part. I was never good at controlling my emotional outbursts, but now it was like everything was heightened tenfold. Belatedly, I realized I should have practiced controlling them more; maybe I wouldn't be torn between screaming and crying at any given point during the day. I downed the vial without much thought to it – if he wanted me dead he knew he would have to wait until we were no longer chained together – and the effect was immediate.

"Oh, thank the Gods." I breathed, feeling the haze that had previously been over my mind fade away. It was like I was seeing clearly for the first time in weeks; for a moment I paused and just reveled in the sensation. Alduin watched me, appearing very amused when I gave him a small smile, rubbing my arm. Unfortunately with this new clarity, I was more like myself and suddenly remembering my past behavior was the most embarrassing thing I had ever experienced. It was clear I had been feeling the effects of my dragon soul for months now – going so far back as when Delphine and Arvakr tried to explain Paarthurnax was evil and I had attacked the older woman. Possibly even during the bickering with Miraak, in which I was fighting him to take dragon souls, or farther back.

But I was suddenly feeling very… like myself.

"I… I apologize, for my behavior." _I didn't realize how bad it was._ The words hung in the air as I offered my meek apology, watching his expression waver from amusement to understanding. I knew that he, better than just about anyone, would understand the effects of being a dragon trapped in human form.

"It is not uncommon amongst _dovah_." Alduin stated simply.

"Well, I'm not _dovah_ and h-had you not been there I would have… I would burnt that forest to the ground. So I'm sorry you needed to handle that." My words were quiet and he seemed to be fascinated with the immediate calming of my attitude. That person – the person I had been for months now, to my horror – she just wasn't _me_. The snarky attitude, the temper tantrums… no, none of that was me. I could see it now that I was clear-headed and relaxed. I was a quiet, studious girl who had sought out adventure and companionship with like-minded people. Kind, and docile, and self-depreciating – had someone told me years ago I would be able to kill _anything_ without feeling the weight of guilt eating at me, I would have cried.

"This is an interesting turn of events." He said, a small smirk pulling into place and I shrugged slightly, trying to ignore the anxiety I felt now that I was essentially exposed for what I was. I felt vulnerable now that I was actually interacting with him beyond the haze of madness my soul was attempting to force on me for not cooperating with my instincts. Like he was finally, _really_ seeing me; I tried to squash the part of me that wondered if he still found me charming.

I could still feel the tingle of my heat under my skin, but it was dulled considerably and I knew in a few more days it would be gone all together. It would be a relief to escape the prickling feeling, but it would be even better now that I had a way to keep my mind about me. I eyed Alduin with fresh eyes, admitting once more that even now I found him attractive in many ways. The very idea of it had heat crawling up my skin and I knew I was blushing even as we began walking again.

"And thank you," I added quickly, a few paces behind him so as to avoid his mocking my flushed features. "For helping me clear my head."

"You're chatty today, aren't you?" He mused, deflecting my thanks with a knowing grin cast in my direction. I was flustered immediately, darting my eyes ahead of us and vowing not to say another word unless he decided he wanted to be chatty himself. _And even then you shouldnt talk to him._ The voice of reason reminded me, and I chewed my lower lip in thought.

I really needed to stop humanizing him. He was ancient and evil and hell-bent on destroying everything I held dear; the more time I spent in his presence was wearing down my sensibilities about our situation. He just didn't _seem_ evil. Dark, and angry, and a lot twisted, but not evil; it was harder to hold onto that ideal when he was equal parts snarky and funny and, Gods forgive me, _charming._ He was intelligent and observant and sure, he tormented me daily, but most of it wasn't malicious.

 _What have I gotten myself into?_ I wondered, a heavy feeling in my heart.

* * *

 _Bonus Content_

* * *

Alduin watched the sleeping girl with a small frown etched onto his face. He didn't particularly _care_ for the little human, but the fact she seemed to care enough about him to feel betrayed by his earlier actions of misleading her had given him pause. They had only been in each others company for roughly a month or so, and yet she seemed to be in a constant battle with herself when it came to him; part of him was curious as to why exactly she was so bent on leaving him alive.

It had been in the back of his mind since she had admitted her feelings to Arvakr and Delphine. She could have simply agreed and killed him there – he was unable to properly defend himself from her, specifically, so a fight would have proved challenging – but she hadn't. Rather, she had most clearly sided against it. Surely some of it was from the obvious feelings of betrayal that had been festering between her and the man she had wanted as her mate, but even he wasn't blind to her natural inclination to showing him mercy. She had even went so far as to throw out her dear friend at the very suggestion of ending his life; while he was smug about the whole thing, it was concerning.

Faelynn should _want_ him dead.

She was the dragonborn – prophesized to battle him to the death and save Nirn – and yet she was everything but what he had always imagined. Certainly, she was aggressive and sharp-tongued, but not hurtful. It was why he had been so genuinely upset when he caught her lighting the forest on fire with such a contented expression on her face. While it was not uncommon for female _dovah_ to react similarly and bask in the destructive power they had, it was not a look that suited the gentle woman who was now sleeping at his side. No, she was better suited to kind words and fighting her instincts to hurt others against all odds.

Alduin was not one to lie to himself – he was almost fond of her. He had heard her whispered thoughts almost daily, trying to reinforce her beliefs that he was an evil creature – and almost every time she failed. It hadn't taken long for him to determine that her behavior was unusual, considering her inner voice was equal parts angry and gentle, and that was why in the still of night he found himself drawing his own blood into a small vial. He would have offered the solution to her mental state sooner – if only to stop her from being so torn up he was hearing her thoughts as clearly as his own – but he was certain she would have panicked to know it was made from his very essence.

Whispering his quiet spell, the vial glowed for a moment before the contents shifted color; he examined it curiously before nodding to himself. Yes, tomorrow he would give her the solution to her mental state and he would finally get some relief from her agitating attempts at humanizing him. Tucking the bottle into his cloak, he settled down alongside the girl, glaring holes into her head. He was ancient and powerful; he did not want or need the pity or understanding of a weak mortal creature such as herself.

And yet when she let out a soft groan in her sleep, he found himself absentmindedly petting her hair to soothe her in the stillness of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

And, here we're moving into more dangerous territory for our heroine! I tried to keep it from being so dialogue heavy this round, but I'll be honest and just admit I love dialogue with these two so it's hard. I'm powering through the buildup as best I can because I know you're all probably dying to see them just accept their feelings and get on with it; let it be known I have almost all of it mapped out, so now it's just a matter of working out the details!

Reviews fuel me. I probably wouldn't have gotten this one out so fast if people hadn't reviewed the last chapter, to be honest.

\- Razzella

* * *

|| Chapter Five ||

* * *

 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

* * *

It was officially the third day of our trip, and I don't think I've ever been so tired. Had I known I would end up switching gears and going to a completely new place, I would have at least brought my horse to carry some of the load. As it stood now, I couldn't even relax a long enough to scribble new information in any of my journals – and there was a _lot_ of new information. Particularly when it came to expanding my knowledge of alchemy, which seemed to agitate my companion. I was quieter now, and I wasn't sure if he appreciated my calmer demeanor or not, but I was definitely enjoying feeling so… normal. Plucking another blue mountain flower, I ignored the buzz of amusement that found me through our bond. That was almost Alduins constant state, it seemed. Everything I did entertained him, and in a lot of ways, that was comforting. We had a silent agreement to postpone our own issues with one another until Paarthurnax was handled, and along with that quiet truce came the ability to table our negative opinions of each other. Not that we really seemed to have many personal problems with one another aside from the fact he was still keen on ending the world as I knew it, and I rather liked my world just the way it was.

"While I do appreciate your lack of aggression towards me," Alduin drew my attention away from my thoughts, as he had done several times since he gave me the vial that calmed the haze of rage in my mind. "You're disturbingly quiet." I couldn't help the small smile that pulled into place when his eyes narrowed suspiciously at me.

"Yes, well, I'm not usually that talkative." It wasn't exactly a lie. I did lean on the shyer side of things, but as I had aged my shyness had transformed into reservation. When left to my own devices, I was content to speak to no one, however I had been known to be friendly with others when comfortable; while Alduin and I had a sort of understanding, I definitely was not comfortable with him. He was an enigma, and while part of me was eager to dig my heels in and try to figure him out, I knew I shouldn't. There was no rational way to explain my desire to know him aside from calling it curiosity – and my curiosity wasn't really worth the end of times. So I had resigned myself to ignoring the urge and just accepting that my kindness should only extend to sparing his life.

"It will not hurt to make conversation." He huffed, and I shook my head. Alduin seemed just as eager to know me, despite his threats to my wellbeing in the beginning. It was easy to chalk it up to him attempting to manipulate me, and so that's what I did. There need not be any deeper meaning behind our interactions.

"We have nothing in common to discuss." I deflected easily, eyes scanning the endless sea of trees for any other new plants I could pick up along the way. My response seemed to throw him through a loop, because I was left alone for a good hour to pander after different flora that I had yet to document. Naturally, I couldn't afford to stop walking because I was still very much in mortal danger, but that wouldn't stop me from pursuing my hobby as I went along. There was no point in saving humanity from the end if I couldn't even do the things I enjoyed – though, that was probably a selfish thought wasn't it? I tried not to stew on my darker thoughts for too long, reminding myself that there was no point. I couldn't change what was done. I couldn't go back in time and fix everything. I had effectively lost my dearest friend, tied myself to an ancient evil prophesized to end the world, and had another friend turn out to have manipulated me for all the time I had known him – not even mentioning the loss of both the monastery and my home, and how much that had hurt.

 _But it will all be fine._ I told myself, forcing the cheerful thought. It would all work out. I would make it work out, because that's what I did. Life would get hard and I would… I would run. Normally by this point I would already be running. I slowed to a stop, staring at the overgrowth beneath my feet with a furrowed brow. It would make a lot of sense to turn tail and run. Sure, I was already running, but in reality I was only hiding away so that I could come up with a means to stop Paarthurnax. But I could actually _run away._ The world had Arvakr to handle the dragons and their incessant drama. I could be on a boat to the Summerset Isles in a matter of days and evade all of this until Arvakr handled it. When I ran away from my home the first time, I had taken a boat because I knew there would be people searching land. It had taken longer, but it was well worth it to throw everyone off my trail. I could do something similar now. Buy passage out of Skyrim and start over again – never have to even think about dragons. It would be so _easy_ –

A hand on my shoulder made me tense, and I gave Alduin a curious look. He had a knowing expression on his face that made my stomach churn with guilt; my lips formed a thin line and I shrugged his hand off before continuing on my way. I couldn't very well go through with that idea until I found a way to be rid of him. There was the obvious solution of simply doing what fate seemed to desire, but I didn't really want to kill him. I had hunted dragons in the past, but it was entirely different to just… lock something in a cage and put a knife through it, rather than to kill it in actual combat. That was the fine line between protector and murderer, and I fancied myself a protector. Thus far, all my former enemy had offered were threats that he would follow through with after he was free, but so long as he was tied to me, he couldn't very well hurt me, and seemed content to behave.

The forest was always darker than the roads, but for some reason it seemed to be pretty bright; it took a moment to realize we were on the edge of the forest. I huffed when I caught sight of the mountains in the distance, wishing with all my might I didn't have to go trekking up there. I recognized the scene and immediately began eyeing our surroundings. It may not have been the _best_ idea to stop and rest when it was only a little past midday, but he _had_ said we should expect to rest more frequently.

"A hunters rest is near here." I spoke up after a moment, looking over at my dark-haired companion. His eyebrow quirked and I felt myself fighting back the urge to attempt buttering him up with my sweetest smile.

"We can make camp there. We've been walking almost three days, and I'm exhausted. Hopefully nobody else will be using it." Alduins expression screamed ' _absolutely not'_ for a minute before he sighed, and even though I felt his irritation bounce to me over our connection, he nodded his head.

"Alright." Relief flooded me at his agreement, and I went on my merry way before I realized what was wrong with that whole interaction. As we made our way a little off course, I furrowed my brow, wondering why I had even stopped to consult him in the first place. He was _my_ prisoner – and _why had be acted like he was in charge?!_ The warmth of embarrassment was dusting my features even after we made it to the small cabin and found it empty. I just wasn't good at treating others as though they were beneath me, I acknowledged. Even though he was supposed to be my enemy – and by all rights I _should_ behave in a demeaning manner towards him – it just didn't sit right with me. We walked for roughly an hour in silence before stumbling across the cabin – that was luckily empty, as I definitely didn't want to share with anyone this time around – at which point we eagerly took a seat on the porch and dug out some food. The house was old and raggedy, but it worked well enough as shelter. There was no door, and most of the walls had a lot of damage; I stared at the run-down cabin with a small scowl. It was definitely in worse shape than it had been the last time I was here. The weather was nice enough that it didn't really matter, but if it started raining we were sure to end up soaked to the bone.

"Do you truly believe we have nothing in common?" Alduin spoke up after a minute more as I stirred the cooking pot. Stew was quick and easy, and I desperately wanted to be rid of the meat I had stored under a preservation spell. His words gave me pause and I cast him a curious glance, feeling myself grow short of breath at his open expression.

"If we do, I don't want to know." I responded softly, returning my attention to my task. I could almost hear the thoughts bouncing around in his head. He wanted to tell me he wasn't that bad – he wanted to explain things. If only because the silence between us seemed to grate on his nerves, but I felt like he wanted to tell me because he held some notion of winning me over to his side. That made sense.

"We both enjoy reading." He commented and I sniffed in amusement, shaking my head but otherwise ignoring him. My silence was apparently his cue to continue.

"We share an interest in the art of magic, and are partial to being stubborn." I found myself struggling not to laugh at that. Stubborn was an understatement when it came to him, that was for sure. My eyes wandered to my left and I eyed him with an amused smile. It was hard not to harbor some fondness for someone you'd been in constant contact with for the span of a month. No matter who they were or their outlook on life, if they were your only consistent companion it was hard not to get attached to their presence. Even if half of that time I was itching with hormones and not quite myself, I could at least acknowledge that I was invested in him somewhat after almost two months of being around him.

A cool breeze rolled through the trees and I told myself it was absolutely not attractive when Alduins hair whipped in the wind. His hair was perfectly ruffled and I refused to acknowledge that it made him charming – well, charming when compiled with the bright beams of light breaking through the trees and lighting his ruby eyes in a way that _almost_ made him look… human. His grin was contagious and after a moment I found myself giggling.

"I am not stubborn." I responded, giving in to the urge to banter with him. It was weird for me to try to enforce the silent treatment. Given, I had only been trying for a day, but even so it was difficult. Alduin looked positively excited about my response, and his smirk revealed teeth that were sharper than normal. How had I not noticed that before? The idea was swept away when he rolled his eyes with a huff, reaching over to stir the stew that I had admittedly forgotten about while absorbed in my thoughts.

"You are _painfully_ stubborn for a mortal." The male insisted, making me snicker alongside him. "Most would cower before me, and yet you continue to surprise me with your attitude."

"I have no idea what you mean, Alduin."

* * *

After we ate dinner, I was somehow talked into practicing with the former dragon. In hindsight, it was a stupid idea – exposing battle tactics to your enemy, I mean – but in the moment I was having a good time and it sounded fun. We'd been going for around thirty minutes, and I extinguished the flames that were in my hands as Alduin paced around me slowly; I found myself remembering the evening in which I had circled him in a similar manner. I had previously assumed that memory would cause me pain, but… it was actually almost pleasant. It was the first time I had allowed us to connect fully. The first time we acknowledged that I was indeed fond of him, and while he may have been more concerned with the issue of exposing us, he _had_ to feel some kind of attachment to me as well, to step into the line of fire like that.

I felt a blush fill my features as he continued examining me. He was very good at poking my buttons, and yet I couldn't help but jerk to attention and straighten myself when he spoke up about my poor posture. This made so little sense. Of all the things I expected, I didn't think he would critique me this way. If he was out to end me, he definitely shouldn't help me become a stronger opponent. But here he was, explaining why my _thu'um_ was weaker than it should be and urging me to improve. I didn't understand his thought process. But sure enough, when I released the Shout, it came out stronger and I was very flustered when he gave me an approving nod. Why did he even care?

"I care because I have no desire to end you, obviously. I have said as much, _dovahkiin_." _Yeah, but I didn't think you meant it._ The thought hung between us and I saw his eyes narrow with some frustration before we went back to practicing. I was growing tired with the constant shouting and it was beginning to wear away at my nerves. This was stupid on his part and I didn't understand why he would do this, which just made it more frustrating when he gave me a thin smile and demanded I try the shout again. More than anything I was certain he would make good on his word to tear me apart, so giving me a way to defend myself shouldn't be something he was interested in.

"You think too much." Alduin finally turned a glare on me, and I felt myself flinch away. "I have no desire to kill you, Faelynn; when the day comes I am free of our bond, whatever I have taught you will do little to protect you against me." In the next moment he was standing in front of me; before I could move away he had gripped my arms. It wasn't a hard grip, but it was enough to make me tense. He looked very much as he had in the early days of our being tied together – angry and every bit the dragon trapped in human skin I sometimes forgot he was. For a moment there was great self-loathing swirling around inside of me that I knew he felt from the way his shoulder tensed a bit.

I was stupid. _Again._

I forgot myself and our position, and it was always times like this that he reminded me very clearly that we were on opposite sides of the battlefield. Our single common goal of removing Paarthurnax from the picture was not enough to overcome our destiny to hate one another and eons of planning the great battle to save Nirn that we were supposed to participate in – which was all stupid mumbo jumbo that I didn't believe in the first place. Why did we have to do what the stories said? Why couldn't we make our own destiny? Alduins eyes were glowing down at me and I grit my teeth, steeling myself for the rest of his rant.

"I am very old, and very powerful. Even if you had years before our bond was broken – which you do not, _kulaas_ – you could never hope to defeat me. It is only because I hold some semblance of fondness for you that I have decided I will spare you when I am free." I was gaping at him, feeling a mixture of emotions I didn't want to dissect because not nearly enough of them were negative, and he just continued glaring at me. Why did he _do this_? My frustration was forming tears and I felt my throat threatening to close up. It didn't matter why he did it. All that mattered was that he was still keen on being the bane of my existence and that meant I would have to continue being the shield between him and the world.

"You're very good at reminding me," I cursed my voice for the way it wavered. "Why exactly I don't want us to have anything in common." Almost as if my words surprised him, his grip loosened and I ripped myself away from him, storming back towards the cabin. Every time I thought he wasn't quite as terrible as everyone kept saying, he would do something like this. He'd be rude, or belittle me, or try to frighten me – and it always threw whatever meager progress we made back ten paces. Not that I _wanted_ us to make progress, necessarily, but it was hard on me to keep… doing this. I didn't think it would be this hard to keep him under wraps.

I should have. I should have known it would be hard. No creature is ever content to be caged, even if the cage is as large as all of Nirn. But then he had moments where it seemed like he wasn't absolutely miserable; part of me didn't _want_ him to be miserable, even though I rationally knew he deserved it. He had enslaved humans for eons before dragons went extinct and now he was effectively getting a taste of his own medicine and throwing a tantrum over it. I wasn't even half as horrible as the stories portrayed him to be. My eyes were watering in frustration as I dropped down on one of the crates littering the house. I wasn't cut out to be someone's jailor – that much was obvious. Sure, I could keep him locked down for as long as it took, but did I _want_ to? I winced, shaking my head at the thought as I ran my fingers through my hair. The only alternative to him being chained to me was for me to kill him, and I couldn't bring myself to do it now. Not like this. Maybe in the event he turned on me and forced me to fight for my life, but just to bury a dagger in him while he slept, or even to outright launch an assault when he came through the door was something beyond me. I was too soft for that.

The truth of things was just hanging there between us and as much as I wanted to deny it, I could see it coming. I was soft and he was strong – he was charming and I was clumsy. Anyone in their right mind could see what was going to happen; I prided myself on being intelligent. I'm sure he saw it too, though he was probably pleased, versus my own quiet despairing. It was unavoidable at this point. I had chosen to side with him against Arvakr and Paarthurnax, and if I turned him away from me now I would be facing those fights alone. Not to mention if I turned him away I would have to set him free or kill him, and I had already established I couldn't. So I was just going to stand here and wait for the inevitable collision.

The inevitable battle where I was going to have to decide if I wanted to surrender to the feelings I could clearly see forming or if I wanted to fight it out. I tapped my pen against the journal, splashing splotches of ink onto the page as I bit my lower lip. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I would fight or give in, and that scared me. I scribbled a few more notes in my journal, wishing with all my might I could just start over again. If I had the opportunity to do it all over… I sighed, closing my eyes at that train of thought. If I could do it over, I would have done it all the same. I would have still climbed the damn mountain, still ended up being _dovahkiin_ and still spared Alduin. Death wasn't something that could be undone, and while he was cruel and hurtful and half the time I wanted to hit him, I wasn't sure he deserved to die; until the day came where I was sure one way or the other, I knew very well I wouldn't be the one who ended him.

He was a constant, threatening presence in my life and as much as that frightened me I couldn't deny the appeal of it. I _liked_ the challenge Alduin presented me with. The bickering was fun and sometimes even the outright fear of his power and what he could do to me was thrilling all its own. And it wasn't that I necessarily thought I was going to fall madly in love with him or anything to that effect, but I was interested in him, and the more interested I became, the more dangerous this game we were playing was for the world. The right thing to do would be to walk away from it – to kill him and be done with it – but I was having fun being with him and I didn't want to go back to being alone again. I didn't want to go back to being nobody yet. Was that selfish of me?

Yes, it probably was.

A roar had me launched across the wooden floor boards and crouching in a darker corner of the house, eyes scanning the skies overhead. Gods above, it was like I could never catch a break. I was startled when a feeling of panic surged through me when the dragon roared once more, and trying to steady myself I took several deep breaths. My bravery stemmed from my dragons soul, apparently, and now that it was effectively tamed it seemed as though I was back to being docile. What wonderful timing. Vaguely, I heard the flapping of wings and then the crash of a dragon landing nearby, and I wondered how _exactly_ they'd managed to locate me already. Surely this was a coincidence. We had been so careful to avoid detection and been weaving through trees for days.

"Alduin, _druv dreh hi iliis, dii lokaal_? **[Alduin, why do you hide, my love?]** " It took a moment for those words to process, and when they did I almost relaxed before remembering that I had no one; while Alduin was barely under my thumb for now, his friends were certainly still my enemies. Apparently even Alduin had allies, and yet I was here, alone, trying to take on several different teams. Paarthurnax and Odahviing were chasing me, Alduin and this mystery dragon were apparently a pair trying to free him from my bond, and then Arvakr and Delphine – Gods, I was the lone person trying to fight all of them. Running was becoming much more appealing as the days went on.

"Alduin!" The voice roared once more and I peeked around a nearby corner, wincing to see the frost dragon searching the area nearby. I didn't _want_ to battle anyone. I was tired and upset and just so genuinely willing to sit down and talk things out instead of fight. Anything to avoid snapping jaws and ice breath. I was pleasantly surprised when the man this dragon desired stepped out of the treeline and in front of the roaring beast. Maybe I wouldn't have to go toe-to-toe with a dragon today, if he did the right thing and turned them away.

 _Please make them go away._ I begged and saw him tilt his head to one side as though he heard the thought, but he made no other motion to confirm and I couldn't help but wonder if it had actually reached him. One would think dragons always spoke loudly, but this was not the case. I could see the pair gesturing vaguely and I could hear the low sound of chatter, but their words escaped me and I felt a huff escape my lips. If I approached, I was sure to irritate the dragon, and a battle would ensue – but to trust Alduin to be good and do as I requested? Could I _actually_ trust him?

I glared a hole into the back of his head. I could trust he wouldn't put me in danger, since he himself would therefore be in danger. I could trust he wouldn't lie if it didn't benefit him in some way. I wanted to trust him more, but the truth was that was as far as my belief in him currently went. After several minutes had passed and the newcomer looked effectively comfortable, I found myself growing impatient. So with a heavy heart, I steeled myself and stepped out of the cabin, waltzing down the stairs and approaching the duo. As I had expected, the dragon was immediately on the defensive, snarling as I stood a few paces behind Alduin.

" _Dovahkiin."_ The word came out sounding like a curse and I heard Alduin chuckle. I took solace in the fact he was amused – if we were in danger, he certainly would have been more irritated in my approach. I felt his eyes on me for a moment before returning to the scaled female once more and I was amused he was eyeing our interaction with so much interest. But that would make sense, since his mates probably needed to get along well enough not to murder each other in their sleep. Not that I had _any_ intention of being his mate, but from his perspective he was probably watching to see how we handled one another. Yep.

" _Dovah."_ I tried to sound pleasant, but something struck me as odd about this one. Maybe it was in my head, but I had the distinct feeling our shared irritation with one another stemmed directly from something to do with Alduin. It was like she hated me for more than just being what I was, and I could just _feel_ it rolling off of her in waves. I wondered why it was she disliked me so, but the thought was ripped away when she looked away to address the man beside me.

" _Dreh rek tinvaak un vun?_ **[Does she speak our tongue?]** " Her words were directed at Alduin and I was struck with the urge to claw her eyes out – which was unusual, seeing as I was definitely _not_ that catty. Or maybe I was. I wasn't really sure about anything right now.

" _Rek dreh._ **[She does.]** " I answered dryly as Alduin opened his mouth, watching her eyes widen fractionally before narrowing in distaste at me once more. What was this _feeling_? My heart was heavy and I was irritated just by her being here. Then again, I had never been exposed to a female dragon in this light. If I had met one, they had been dead in minutes after our initial meeting, and conversation hadn't really been the plan. My thoughts shifted gears, cataloguing this reaction as something I most definitely needed to look into. I had reacted this way with Arvakr and Delphine as well, hadn't I? Maybe I just didn't like women. But then Rayya flashed through my mind, and Narri. Neither of them had bothered me at all; rather, we'd been something akin to friends.

I was tempted to just outright ask, but the silence was tense and dragging on and I found myself glaring into the eyes of a dragon that _wasn't_ Alduin and I couldn't look away long enough to address what exactly my problem was. A low growl was emitted from the dragon and I grit my teeth; something in me was positive if I was capable of sounding nearly as intimidating with a growl I would have tried it. But then Alduin put a hand on my shoulder and I was so startled I actually jumped, despite my eyes not shifting from the newcomer.

" _Kulaas, daar los Krahnelkril, gein do dii liin._ **[Princess, this is Krahnelkril, one of my mates.]** " When the dragon looked away from our contest I felt a distinct pang of satisfaction, despite her preening proudly.

" _Nunon gein rok drun zek._ **[The only one he brought back.]** " Krahnelkril cooed and I felt that strange irritation growing. Then, of course, came the thought that I could _totally_ just kill her and be done with this strange sensation all together. It took a moment to realize that wasn't exactly my own thought process, but rather a reaction drawn out of me from my soul. Apparently being exposed to dragons made me less human and more dragon. Perfect.

"Is she your favorite?" I cast a bored look at Alduin that I hoped came across as completely disinterested and not as forced as it actually was. His grin was very nearly contagious, and I felt myself pleased in a very petty way when I realized the other dragon couldn't speak English.

"No – she was the only one whose grave I found." He responded and I felt my lips tilt, appeased with this new knowledge. Unfortunately, when the heaviness subsided from my chest I realized I was feeling relieved, and if that didn't throw an emotional wrench in things, I don't know what would have.

"She needs to leave." I informed him seriously, and he snickered, waving me away with one hand. His eyes were glowing – literally – with amusement and I narrowed my own at him with a frown.

"No need to be so possessive, _mal jud_." He cooed and I felt a blush fill my features. I was _not_! With that, I spun on my heel and stalked away from the scene, practically seething with my frustration. I was _not_ being possessive. If anything, I was being too lenient in letting them speak at all. But maybe somewhere in me I knew who she was – she had called him 'my love' after all – and if I'm being honest I'm a sucker for romance.

I tried to ignore my petty satisfaction when Alduin finally sent her away, opting instead to keep flipping through my journal and scribbling down information about the plants I had found today. It wasn't that she was necessarily his mate that bothered me, I told myself earnestly, it's that I couldn't trust dragons and she needed to leave. What if she went flying back to Paarthurnax? What if he had sent her to find us, knowing Alduin wouldn't hide from her? But then I made the mistake of glancing at the dark-haired man across the room and I knew he felt the sudden surge of resignation that went through me from the curious look on his face.

Akatosh preserve me, I really liked this bastard.


	6. Chapter 6

I had a blast with this one. They're finally moving forward. It's finally getting to the good stuff; there's some more plot being interwoven in here that I've been feigning to move in to. I hope everyone enjoys this update, as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Reviews are much appreciated.

\- Razzella

* * *

|| Chapter Six ||

* * *

 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

* * *

"I hate her." I informed Alduin bluntly as I stalked into his throne room, arms crossed over my chest and what I hoped wasn't an insolent look plastered on my face. He was lazing in his throne with one leg tossed over the left arm and looking effectively amused with my sudden approach. Since I had agreed to become his mate so many months ago, he had taken to the form I preferred in my presence, and despite the curled horns protruding from his head and that unruly long hair, he was still very handsome. Not nearly as intimidating as staring into the eyes of a dragon every time I had something to say, that was for certain. Those red eyes I adored glowed for a moment and I almost smiled when his smirk pulled into a grin.

"And why is that, _mal jud_?" Suddenly anxiety filled me as I realized he was about to go into a fury, and I wondered if I should have let my emotions lead me to him this way. But then Krahnelkrils' words echoed in my head once more and I felt the anxiety give way to the pain and rage they had caused.

" _You are but a passing fancy. We are eternal – you will only be favored for a short time before you are gone and he is mine again. The fault of being a pathetic little mortal."_ Even in dragons tongue with no real magic behind them, the words had burned like fire itself. I would almost have rather been burned then have that obvious flaw in our relationship pointed out. I was going to die in, what, maybe 200 years, if my mothers elven blood was more prominent than my fathers. Not to mention I'd grow old and frail and probably senile; there was no telling at what age I would be too unsightly for him. And he would carry on young and beautiful forever – with _her_. It was something neither of us could formulate a good solution to, and truthfully I opted not to think of it at all most days.

The words must have rang with too much clarity, because his expression immediately clouded over with what I recognized as rage. Of course he was angry – he was possessive and regal and I was his favorite toy for the moment. His approach didn't frighten me as it once had, though I was startled when his hand curled around my wrist and he tugged me alongside him, pulling me down the hallway I had just walked. I struggled to keep stride with him, but eventually we came to a small alcove that we had often slipped into like teenagers to coo over one another. It was a space forgotten and all ours; he pushed me into it until my back was pressed firmly against the wall and his lips found mine earnestly.

"She is a foolish, petty creature; pay her no mind." Alduins expression was uncharacteristically gentle as his fingers came up to brush my cheek softly.

"You are my sky, Faelynn."

* * *

I jerked awake and immediately felt my body heating in embarrassment, shaking the dream off with some force. _Well._ I rolled my shoulders, before stumbling to my feet and then semi-deliriously out of our little cabin in the woods, breathing in the cool morning air. I dared not look at the sleeping male for fear of seeing _that_ look once more. Gentle. Soft. Sweet. _Kind._ I ran my fingers through my hair, huffing in mild amusement. None of those words would I _ever_ use to describe him.

"Dragonborn." I stiffened as the world began to slow in a shade of blue, eyes scanning the area in search of who had spoken. "Have you truly forsaken your destiny?" A man stepped forward, horns curling from his head though he was _painfully_ white. Glowing white, in fact, and I was forced to avert my gaze as he appeared.

"Are you as Miraak was before you – a traitor to your very purpose?" I glowered at the ground, unable to turn my disapproving expression on the male as he spoke. The light that enveloped him was blinding, and filling the area around us as though the sun itself had risen. It was obviously some kind of spell that I decided almost immediately I needed to learn – how useful it must be to blind ones enemy rather than charging in and relying purely on your own power. I could hear the ruffling of fallen leaves as he approached, and naturally began stepping backwards from this stranger. His intent was not clear, but he seemed to be rather irritated with me, and I was unwilling to test him.

"My purpose is whatever I decide." I retaliated softly, and the sound of footsteps ceased, making me glance towards the bright light for a moment. I could see the outline of a man, but that was about all. He had seemed to have horns as Alduin had had in my dream, but that was long gone in the abyss of white he was currently exuding.

"You are so like him." The words were so quiet I almost missed them, but then the light grew brighter and I was forced to close my eyes; it was only by the sudden darkness behind my eyelids that I realized his spell was gone and quickly began searching the area. The shade of blue had faded from the world around me and the bright man was gone, leaving the darkness disorienting as I settled down on the steps of the cabin. _That was strange._ The thought bounced around my head for a bit as I took in the morning air once more, glancing up at the sky and figuring the sun wouldn't rise for a long while yet. After a long debate as to whether or not I should make breakfast now or later – because, who am I kidding, strange things followed me like moths were drawn to flame, so why fret? – I ultimately just wandered back inside. Glancing at the still sleeping Alduin, I shook my head, feeling a small smile tilt my lips. How could he sleep through all that light? Surely it must have bothered him if it was outright blinding for me.

Settling back down in my makeshift bed, I stared at the dim embers of our former fire through one of the cracks in the wall, pulling at a loose thread on my sleeve. The air was chill, signaling the approach of much colder weather; I wondered if Alduins safe haven would be affected by that? Probably not, if it was a tear between dimensions, but would it affect our ability to get there? Possibly. This train of thought was with me until I dozed off once more.

* * *

"Alduin, stop." I spoke up from my place beside the ancient dragon, frowning anxiously. He was currently very much the beast I tended to forget he was, growling low in his throat at another dragon whose name I didn't know. His massive head swung around to face me and I took a step back to avoid collision, startled as he turned fully and began stalking towards me. He never tried to intimidate me now – not since we had bonded to one another and became mates.

"Is this what you prefer?" Suddenly I was aware I was dreaming, watching those piercing red eyes glow at me as I stumbled away, unable to contain my fear despite knowing I couldn't be hurt. "You prefer seeing me like this – angry, violent, _frightening?_ " His roar echoed off the stone walls around us and the other dragon faded out of the dream entirely; suddenly it was just the two of us, me collapsing against a stone staircase and him towering over me as I stared at him, surprised.

"No! No, of course not!" My voice was shrill with panic as he huffed, looking irritated and amused all in one as he was suddenly surrounded in bright light, and against my better judgement I was forced to turn away. When the light faded I didn't immediately open my eyes, instead opting to just wait. It was a dream, and whatever happened he could not hurt me. I felt a hand – a very human hand, thank the Gods – brush my cheek gently and slowly turned my gaze back to him.

"Then why won't you see me as anything else, Faelynn?" Soft. Sweet. Alluring. His voice was quieter now, barely a whisper as he spoke and I almost hated him for it as his fingertips gently caressed my cheek. It was calming, and as much as I wanted to seethe at the dream version of him, when I met his gaze it was like all the snap drained out of my body. The expression on his face was so… vulnerable. I found my hand reaching up to grasp his gently, pausing his petting as I furrowed my brow in concern.

"I–I don't know." I stuttered out, though that wasn't entirely true. "You're just… _you_. You're the World Eater. The harbinger of the end times. I was supposed to kill you and be done with it – or you kill me, which is far more likely an outcome. That's how I ended up in this mess in the first place. You aren't supposed to be anything more to me than an obstacle." I rambled, watching his expression darken slowly. Not in anger, as I had expected, no, he just looked, well, almost _sad_.

"But then I had to go and meet you and suddenly everything's different," I was squeezing his hand, spilling my guts to the dream version of the man I was meant to kill. It couldn't hurt to be honest with him here; it was almost therapeutic to explain myself to the dark-haired man, who I hadn't really noticed looked nothing like what he did in the waking world. "You're not what I need you to be in order for me to hate you enough. I know I should. You've done awful, terrible things and I try to remind myself every day that you're probably the single most awful creature I've ever encountered but it just doesn't work. Not until you decide to drop the niceties and be a jerk, anyway." Alduin cracked a grin and it was then I realized he looked very different from my normal perception. He was ghostly pale – almost glowing in a very ethereal way – and his raven hair was longer, almost reaching his waist. The most apparent change, however, were the pair of onyx horns protruding from his head, curling backwards not unlike that of a ram. But those beautiful red eyes of his were just the same, shimmering with mirth as my hand slowly released his and reached up to run along one of his horns.

"You're always have to be so beautiful, don't you?" I muttered, scoffing slightly when his grin turned into a smug smirk, letting me run my fingers through his ebony locks without a word. My fingers traced the horns curling from his head lightly, following the movement of my hand rather than meet his gaze again.

"Even as a stupid man-eating dragon you're beautiful. It really isn't fair." I grumbled, feeling more than seeing the dream begin to tremble, as though I were going to wake up soon. I almost didn't want to. It was quiet and peaceful, with Alduin now sitting across from me, letting me run my fingers through his hair. The reality of our situation would come back soon, and I wasn't sure if I could face the man after having such… odd dreams of him. And yet, I would have to, wouldn't I?

"It's really too bad," I whispered, wondering why it was my companion hadn't responded. Well, it was probably because I had wanted the peace and quiet. It was _my_ dream after all. I controlled what happened in it. "I was enjoying not arguing with you, for once."

The dream promptly faded away.

* * *

I blinked awake slowly, vaguely aware of the biting cold on my face as sunlight streamed in from the cracks in the walls, forcing me to rub the brightness away as I sat up. It wasn't quite freezing, but in comparison to being wrapped up in furs and hay, it was miserably cold; I felt a small frown pulling at my lips as I glanced around the cabin. Part of me wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but after scanning the room once, my drowsiness faded completely.

Alduin was gone.

Scrambling to my feet, I let out a soft curse, feeling my heart leap. I should have been more cautious. Put up wards or tied him up or _something_. Why hadn't I thought to do any of that? Not bothering to strap on my armor, I stumbled out of the cabin, the wind blowing through the trees making me shudder as my tunic lifted up just enough to let the chill under my clothes. I wanted to scream at the realization that the world's most dangerous dragon was literally out and about unsupervised because I had decided to be an idiot. A huge idiot. Gods, I was so _stupid_. I ran my fingers through my unruly white locks, panic and dread settling into my chest as I scanned the tree line, looking for his aura. No, he was definitely gone; seeing as he could see me coming from a mile away thanks to my stupid soul chain, he could probably evade me for days if not weeks. Eventually I would catch him, naturally, but with Paarthurnax after me it was going to be twice as hard to find him, much less catch him without drawing any attention to myself.

"You seem distressed." A voice drawled behind me and I jumped, spinning on my heel as my dark-haired companion leaned against the cabin, a small grin tilting his lips. Relief flooded through me – along with, what was that, _gratitude?_ – when I caught sight of the male, putting a hand over my chest as I breathed a sigh.

"Don't wander off like that." I chided half-heartedly, watching his eyes twinkle in amusement. "You're supposed to be my prisoner." I reminded him, trying to sound stern, but seeing as he could feel every emotion I was having, it just seemed to amuse him more.

"But I'm not really much of a prisoner, am I?" He mused, his normal grin shifting to a sweet smile and suddenly my dreams came flooding back and I stiffened in alarm. Oh. _Oh no_. I wanted to tell him not to look at me like that, but my mouth was dry and I could feel warmth spreading up the back of my neck. Flustered at my reaction, I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes, stalking back into the cabin hurriedly to strap on my armor so we could head out. I ignored his mildly surprised expression as he watched me move passed him, trying to focus my thoughts on anything but my pleasant dreams and the star of them.

"So," I cleared my throat as I braided my hair thoughtfully. "We should probably continue on." I heard him hum in acknowledgement as I finished lacing up my boots and turned to pack up the remainder of our things before stalking back out of the cabin, casting him a sidelong glance. After a brief murmured conversation about our directions, we were off again, wandering through the wilderness in a seemingly random direction.

I tried to focus on anything but watching Alduin, but I couldn't help glancing his direction every so often. It was strange, having him so quiet and not coming up with something to fill the void between us. The silence was probably for the best, but it was deafening all the same. Part of me wanted to ask why it was he hadn't taken off like I assumed he had when I woke up; I knew if I asked I would be opening up a whole different can of worms. He probably wouldn't even answer me, he'd just deflect the question by asking me why I didn't lock him up at night. Which was a good and valid question, if I was going to be honest with myself. Most people would have him on a much shorter leash than the one I had him on; maybe I was being stupid by giving him as much trust as I was giving him. Maybe that was his whole reason for scaring me this morning – to show me he could go if he wanted and that he only stayed because that's what he decided to do.

I wanted to pull my hair out as these thoughts spun around in my head, letting out a small huff. _Just ask him._ I thought, trying to psyche myself up for a conversation that was, unfortunately, not coming out of my mouth. It's not like he would lie to me about it. He was a proud and conniving creature and if that was the message he wanted to get across, all I had to do to confirm was ask. But it was as if my dreams the night before had planted this seed of affection in me that was causing me to go haywire. Suddenly striking up a conversation seemed really difficult no matter how hard I willed myself to speak; a faint blush dusted my cheeks when he caught me glancing at him from under my lashes. I turned my attention to the path ahead rapidly, trying to seem casual even as he cocked an eyebrow down at me, obviously curious about my strange behavior.

 _You're being stupid._ I told myself sternly, internally berating myself as the day went on. Another plausible thought was that he was tinkering with my head. He'd already proven he could give and take and alter my memories – what's to say he couldn't mess with my dreams as well? Maybe he purposely planted these ideas into my head while I slept in order to get this exact reaction from me. I wouldn't put it passed him, because honestly, it was a really smart idea. Slip into someone's head at their most vulnerable and tweak it just enough to encourage affection for you. I would totally try it if I was able and stuck in a situation like this. The more your captor likes you, the more likely you are to escape.

The beaten path had become clearer as we got passed the trees and made our way up the rocky terrain, but that didn't make it any easier to stalk our way up it. We walked in silence up the mountainous area for almost four hours before the silence became too much and I finally cracked, crossing my arms over my chest with a small sigh.

"Can you mess with dreams?" I demanded, not looking up from the ground as we walked, though I felt some surprise flitter to me over the bond. I tried not to appear as shaken up as I actually felt at the idea that he was digging around in my head and planting such thoughts, but I think he could tell from the very careful tone he used in his response.

"No," Alduin answered slowly, and I could feel his gaze boring into the side of my head. "Why do you ask?" I could feel the blush crawling onto my features again, pointedly ignoring his gaze as I shrunk slightly. I wish I had asked more questions about how he tinkered with memories because now I was concerned he was curious enough to actually look at my memory of the dreams and that was just downright mortifying to imagine.

"Just curious." My voice elevated in pitch and I picked up my speed a bit, staying a bit ahead of him. I wasn't sure what was more embarrassing – that I actually dreamed up a sweet and affectionate Alduin for myself or that I had been wrong in my idea that he planted the dream in my head. Actually, no, the most embarrassing thing was gambling that he could tinker with dreams at all and accidentally giving him a reason to be curious about why I wanted to know. Mentally, I prepared myself to be constantly aware of the dragon-turned-human in order to try my damnedest to keep him away from the memory of those dreams. If they were really just me having a crush, then I needed them to remain hidden in the deepest, darkest part of my memories where no one could ever hope to find them.

"I feel as though you had an unnerving dream." Alduin said casually and I cursed myself for ever tying myself to him as he kept pace with me. He was sizing me up; I just knew any minute now he was going to try poking around in my head and I just couldn't allow that. I needed to come up with a way to keep that from happening. He was already involved enough due to the bond, and the last thing I needed was him seeing the literal reenactment of my dreams.

"No, no, I was just curious about your abilities." I tried to sound just as casual as he did, but there was a slight squeak in my voice that I knew he would pick up on. "I thought if you could tamper with memories, you may be able to tamper with dreams."

"Hmm. I'm starting to understand why you haven't looked at me since this morning. Dreamt up something you don't want me to see, _mal jud_? Or were you concerned I caused the dream in the first place?" _Both._ I acknowledged honestly to myself, but outwardly I rolled my eyes a bit. There was laughter in his voice that I found both endearing and irritating. When I didn't answer him, he snickered softly and I glared at the ground heatedly.

"In order to see your memories, I need eye contact," Alduin confided, apparently humoring me and my less than stealthy investigation, and I relaxed slightly. "To tamper with them, I would need to touch your skin." Right. So just don't look him in the eye and don't let him touch me. Easy peasy. I tried to do those things on a regular basis anyway.

"Interesting." I hummed and glanced his direction, easily evading his eyes, though I did see his normal wicked grin painting his features.

"I'll get it out of you eventually, Faelynn." My name rolled off his tongue in an almost sinful way and I shivered, feeling warmth bloom within me. He was curious, and despite my best efforts at being casual, I supposed I should have expected him to make a game out of it.

Of course he would.

* * *

We made it to Markarth the next day by nightfall, miraculously, and I had never been so grateful to get a room at an inn in all my life. A real bed, with warmth and comfort. Sure, the city was basically the slums of Skyrim, but I was the _Dovahkiin_ and I had the World Eater tagging along. What could possibly go wrong? Settling down at the bar, I purchased a room and almost immediately began drinking. Not so much for the fact that I enjoyed drinking as much as I needed to relax. Alduin had been trying to pry into my head for a day and a half, and tomorrow we were going to go waltzing into some rift between worlds that was nearby. All very stressful situations that I didn't really want to deal with, but had no other option but to.

Alduin turned his nose up when I offered to buy him some mead, but I shrugged the reaction off. The pair of us had actually been pleasant the past two days of travel. No bickering or rudeness or intimidation tactics. It was all just jokes and laughter and… well, _fun_. Excluding when he shouted me into the river during our break and another practice session – that was miserable, seeing as it was getting progressively colder and I spent the better part of the day freezing. He had laughed until he couldn't breathe and almost literally collapsed; I, on the other hand, had been mortified and spent the next two hours giving him the silent treatment.

I felt an arm loop lazily around my waist and tensed, still not used to my companion suddenly touching me. I knew it was part of the game we were playing – he would touch me and try to brush against my skin, and I would swat him away – but just about every time I felt butterflies fill my stomach. But this time I was feeling a bit intoxicated and instead let him remain like that, sipping at my mead as I listened to the bard play. We didn't speak, and I let myself relax as Alduin ran his hand lightly along my side, tickling me a bit despite the tunic blocking his touch. I rather enjoyed the atmosphere as I watched the festivities, eyeing everyone who entered into drinking contests, or who decided to sing along with the bard. It was warm and welcoming and fun; I enjoyed being surrounded by people like this.

"Faelynn," I loved the way he said my name. "I think it's time we head to bed, don't you?" The purr made me shiver, which in turn made him chuckle softly as I pouted a bit, not meeting his eye.

"But I'm having fun." I surprised myself with how whiny the words came out, and had I been a bit more sober I might have flinched at the noise. But unfortunately I was right in the sweet spot before one became too drunk to function, but was drunk enough to lose inhibitions, so instead I just giggled.

"You've been drinking for nearly three hours. I seriously doubt you want to pay any more than you already owe." Alduin reminded me, squeezing my side slightly. I scowled when I realized he was correct, slipping off my seat and wincing when the room began spinning. Luckily, his arm was still firmly wrapped around my waist, which kept my teetering from becoming full-on collapsing as I gained my bearings.

"Dance with me first." I demanded, setting my mug down on the bar as I turned my body to face the darker male, focusing my gaze pointedly on his forehead with a grin. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully, but I could see the slight curling of his lips that warned a smirk was just barely being contained as he examined my drunken state.

"I don't think you're capable of staying upright on your own, much less twirling around." The words made me huff in distaste, swatting him away from me as I pouted a bit more noticeably. Per usual, he simply seemed amused at my show of irritation with him, even as I stalked very shakily towards the bard and the group of burly men who had previously been making all the requests. After a quick word and some laughter from the males, I had snagged myself a dance partner and a rather cheerful tune, though I could have done without my partners friends shouting along the words as we danced.

I made a point of being twirled several times by my newfound friend – though, I think he was more interested in me than I was him – and gave Alduin a pointed look as he leaned against the bar, appearing casual besides his stiff posture and slight frown. Sniffing snootily at him, I squealed when the man I was dancing with suddenly twirled me in the air, letting out almost hysterical laughter out of sheer surprise. He was a terrible dancer in general, but I had a rather grand time evading his two left feet and being swung around much like a ragdoll. When the song ended I bid the group a quick goodnight and flashed a dazzling smile, practically skipping back to my immortal friend with a pleased little grin.

He didn't say a word as he placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me towards the room after grabbing the key from the owner. I wanted to groan when we walked in and there was only one bed, having completely forgotten about that bit as my companion nudged me onto the soft quilt. I knew the game would be up tonight, seeing as there was _no way_ we could sleep in such close proximity and _not_ touch skin, but I pouted anyway. Or, rather, I tried to ignore the sting in my eye as I crawled under the blanket, curling up. I always was an emotional drinker; it wasn't really surprising that I was getting upset over the end of our game. It was the first time we had had any real fun together. No drama or mishaps or cruel words – just pure, easy fun.

"I think we should pause our little game for the evening." Alduin announced as he crawled into the large bed, keeping a good deal of space between us as he blew out the single candle lighting the room. I felt a smile pull onto my lips as I rolled over to face him, watching his silhouette move in the darkness of our room.

"It is pretty unfair." I agreed, trying not to slur my words as I rubbed away the mistiness in my eyes. He nodded, rolling over in turn to face me; I met his ruby gaze despite myself, counting the flecks of gold I found there for a moment.

"It wouldn't be as fun to tease you while you are inebriated." My friend added, and my heart suddenly felt light. _My friend_. Maybe that was pushing it a bit, but we did act as if we were friends. We teased each other and laughed together often; a lot of the time even our bickering was over silly subjects. So maybe in a weird way we had developed a bit of a friendship. Once you put aside our supposed fate, it was easy to imagine us being friends. We had similar humor, a handful of similar interests, and both seemed content to go against our destinies. Even if we did take two very different paths in order to do so.

"Goodnight, Alduin." His eyes glowed for a moment and rather than the familiar eerie feeling I normally associated with their glow, I felt calm. It was a nice change of pace, to not be afraid of every little move he made and every little thought that ran through my head.

"Sleep well, Faelynn."


	7. Chapter 7

Yay, more plot!

Reviews are much appreciated, as always.

\- Razzella

* * *

|| Chapter Seven ||

* * *

 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

* * *

 _No._ The refusal bounced over the bond, echoing between the pair of us as we glared at one another. The tension couldn't have been cut with a knife, it was so thick. I was pretty much ready to just push past him and storm back through the dungeons we had just cleared out and take my chances elsewhere. If he hadn't been between me and the only safe exit, I probably would have. He could glare and seethe all he wanted, but there was _no way_ I was going to step off this stupid cliff. I had done my fair share of acrobatics, but I had never done anything downright suicidal – as this appeared to be – and even if I had wanted to trust Alduin that I would be fine, my sense of self-preservation wouldn't allow it.

"You will be fine." He ground out, barely containing a growl. "Just jump." I almost snarled, feeling my upper lip curl slightly at his bossy tone. As if he wasn't asking me to leap to my death. Maybe if one of us had wings, I would consider it, but seeing as neither of us were exactly capable of flight right then, I was very adamantly refusing.

"I am not going to leap to my death." I hissed in turn, voice elevated in pitch due to alarm, and some anger. Fleetingly, the rational part of my mind tried to argue that he wouldn't kill me because it would mean he would die as well, but that was quickly overcome by the growing paranoia and anxiety at the prospect of leaping from a cliff. Free-falling. Trusting that he wasn't just trying to trick me into some elaborate plan to murder me; believing that he hadn't found some way to kill me without killing himself, which seemed a lot more likely than a magical portal opening up mid-fall and taking me somewhere safe.

"You are not going to die, Faelynn!" Apparently having reached the end of his patience, Alduins eyes glowed brightly in irritation and I just gaped, gesturing to the sheer height of which he was asking me to leap from. It was absurd. Surely he realized how unreasonable he was being? He couldn't honestly expect me to do this! I would have fought a hundred dragons before doing this. I would do _anything_ to avoid doing this. I wasn't even normally afraid of heights! It was the prospect of there not being anything there to catch me if – _when,_ I corrected myself a bit bitterly – something went horribly wrong. And something always went wrong, with me. Always.

He grumbled a soft curse as he glared at once another, and in the next moment I was lifted from the ground. Letting out a very uncharacteristic screech of terror, I clawed desperately at his back, trying my hardest to squirm out of his apparent iron grip as he walked towards the edge of the cliff. I vaguely registered tears filling my eyes and spilling forth, but it was at the back of my mind in the moment. I don't think I had been this frightened when I was reigning myself to being torched alive in order to kill him!

" _Alduin_ – wait, oh Gods, please, A-Alduin, please don't," My voice cracked with a soft whimper, and I was admittedly – shamefully – trembling like a leaf in his arms as he paused, holding very still for fear of my squirming forcing him over the edge accidentally. "I will do _anything_ you ask of me, just please do not throw me off this– " I didn't have time to finish my pleading for mercy as I was thrown from the edge, the feeling of falling very nearly making me faint as a scream tore from my throat. The last time I was about to die, I don't think my life flashed before my eyes. It was hard to remember details like that, but I was pretty sure it didn't. And this time, I'm quite certain that all I could see was the sky and Alduins stupid, smug face grinning down at me as I fell, screaming all the way.

But then, about half way through the fall – just as he promised, I acknowledged reluctantly – I suddenly hit water, spluttering as it filled my lungs before thrashing around hurriedly in an attempt to figure out top from bottom. It was pitch black in the water, and I was certain I was about to drown as I blindly thrashed in a random direction. A hand wrapped around mine and I jerked in surprise as I was hauled upward, shortly after finding land. I had never been so grateful to feel mud squishing between my fingers as I was right then. Crawling out of the lake I had been so crudely thrown into, I coughed up the water I had inhaled rather unpleasantly, ignoring my companions' hearty laughter – presumably at my expense – and trying to gain my bearings. As soon as my mind and body were in working order, I had murder on my mind.

"Foolish little mortal," Alduin cooed affectionately, and I gave him my best snarl. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not trying to kill you before you will believe me?" I glared, though my rage was admittedly muted by the sheer relief that he actually _hadn't_ tossed me to my death, and being soaked to the bone tended to cool people off, too. I refused to even acknowledge the swell in my chest that I could have actually trusted him. I could trust him; that through me through a loop for a long moment as I continued to stare at him. Despite that realization, I wasn't quite willing to let it go, so I took a deep breath and prepared my best witty retort, before I was promptly interrupted by the man who was becoming more and more of an enigma for me.

"Though, I do enjoy hearing you beg." I was flabbergasted at the lewd tone he had used, making me turn a bright red as I grabbed the nearest rock and chunked it at him, smirking triumphantly when it collided with his bicep and he hissed in pain. I didn't even notice that his words had that their desired affect; my rage was replaced entirely with mortification. In retaliation to my assault, I was tackled, the weight of my wet armor making it difficult to properly dodge, and rolled onto my back despite my thrashing and squealing. Alduin straddled my waist, pinning me to the ground with a smug grin on his face as I rolled my eyes, trying to reignite some anger as I stared up at him.

"Don't be such a jerk." I huffed, squirming around a bit as I tried to wiggle away from the male. I ignored the way my heart thumped at his proximity, choosing instead to focus on how painful the rocks were against my back. I definitely didn't need to get caught up in how beautiful his eyes were, as I so often found myself doing. No, I needed to be witty and biting and try to enact some punishment for him throwing me off a damn cliff.

"Oh please, like you don't dream of me ravishing you." He snorted snootily, and I tried to remain relaxed, but the slight stiffening of my body gave him pause. I hated how easily he managed to weasel me into these sort of situations, despite my best efforts. I narrowed my eyes at him, almost daring him to say something else; the expression on his face couldn't be described as anything less than pleased as his eyes narrowed slightly in turn, a seductive smile tilting his lips.

"I had forgotten our little game, _kulaas_ , but it appears I may be on to something there." I instantly focused my gaze on his chest, putting in a bit more effort to my attempted escape. _No. No, no. Not today._ I could tell the thought must have partially bounded over the bond from the low rumble of amusement in his chest; it was a very dragon sound, and I would have been fascinated if it weren't for my sudden desperation to put some distance between us. I needed him to not touch me, or distract me, and I kept reminding myself of that as I felt his gaze boring into my face.

"You're out of your mind." I panted, finally managing to shift my body just right so that I could shove him off and scramble to my feet. He laughed as he rose gracefully from the ground, grinning from ear to ear as I dusted off my soaking clothes, giving him a heated glare. Part of me wanted to try actually hurting him, but somehow I doubted that would go over well, much less help our slowly budding friendship. We hadn't had a foul word between us in a long while, and I rather liked the peace for once. Instead, I turned my attention to our surroundings, noting that the cliff we had leapt off of wasn't even there anymore. Rather, it was just a deep forest that ran alongside the lake we had dropped into, and in the distance I thought I could see a river flowing into the large body of water.

I could hear a distant rumbling of a waterfall, and turning my gaze to the opposite side, I found a wide open field of flowers and high grass that swayed gently in the light breeze rolling through. Had I not been soaking wet, it would have felt like a nice reprieve from the scorching sun shining down on us, but seeing as I was wet, it was almost like walking through Windhelm in summer attire. But regardless, it was a beautiful place. Just as I began to wonder how he had come across it, my companion took his place next to me.

"When I was sent through time the first time," Alduin spoke up after a moment, his voice soft. "I found this place and took refuge." My brow furrowed, immediately picking up on his choice of words.

"How many times have you been sent through time?" A small frown pulled onto his face at the question, his normally playful gaze flickering wistfully. We weren't facing each other, so I was only seeing half his expression from the corner of my eye, but I would have sworn I saw the brief shining of tears.

"Enough times to know the dangers of saying the wrong thing." He said after a moment; our eyes locked, and I felt… _something_ in his gaze. I could tell he knew something important, but for some reason the way he was looking at me kept me from asking the questions I wanted the answers to initially. Instead, I went a different route, inquiring about less personal information.

"Backwards or forward?" I asked carefully, watching a pleased smile grace his features for a moment before vanishing once more. But even so he looked content. As if I had asked what he needed me to in order to grant me this knowledge he seemed so eager to impart. I wasn't entirely sure I even wanted to know, but from the look in his eye, I knew it was too late to try to deny this story.

"Both. I've lived through this time stream a few times before, actually," My eyes widened at the casual admittance. "I know at least five possible endings for it. In two of them, Arvakr sends me either forward or backwards in time. This one is the closest anyone has ever come to killing me; had I not caught myself before setting you alight, you may have very well ended my time traveling." He seemed amused, but I was more fixated on the fact he had knowledge into what could – or would? – happen. No wonder he was always so relaxed! He had basically played through most of these scenarios and come out alive in each of them. I would probably be cocky too.

"What about the other three?" A secretive smile crossed his lips at my anxious question, making me shiver. I wasn't certain if it was pleasant or not, to be honest, but I didn't get to get tangled in those feelings before his answer came.

"Well, I win, of course." Dread pooled in my stomach at the implications of that. He'd done this five times, and so far he had come out three to two; in the lead, so to speak. Of course he was arrogant. As many times as he's done this, he'd probably won more often than not. How could you not get cocky when every time you'd gone against your 'sworn enemy' you'd come out on top? But then, that posed an interesting subject all its own.

"If you win, how do you end up running through the time stream again?" He turned then, keeping me from gauging his reaction as he began walking, clearly expecting me to follow. Which I did, after realizing he wanted to walk and talk; ignoring the gross squelching sound of my clothing, I scrambled after him.

"Something tragic always happens, and I always hope to stop it." Alduin's tone had shifted into one of finality, and while I was left wondering what tragic event could send him on an apparent good will mission, I let the subject drop, content to mull over all this new information. Everything seemed to make much more sense now – from his oddly casual and amused behavior, to his occasional cryptic messages. This creature had went back and forth across the time stream enough times to have inside knowledge in what was to come – or could come? Gods, this was confusing, as clearly things couldn't be set in stone, since he had said he'd experienced five different scenarios – and was obviously accustomed to it.

I almost felt daft for not realizing this sooner, but there was no possible way I could have. Nobody could have, really. Well, no, I'm sure there was a way it could have come out. Like running into two Alduins at once would have made it very clear something was amiss. Was that even possible? Could he end up in the same time as another version of himself? Or did he just end up moving through fixed points, so that only one version of him existed in the first place, and he was just bounced from those points indefinitely?

My head almost throbbed as I thought, frowning as I realized something. He had mentioned Arvakr sending him through time, but what about me? Did he kill me in the other time streams? Did I even become dovahkiin in those? Or was this the first time I made all the choices that lead me to this fate?

"Have we met before?" I missed the tender look that crossed his face while I was staring at the ground, lost in my thoughts; I honestly hadn't even realized I had asked out loud until he gave his answer.

"Many, many times."

* * *

"So you just, what, go back and forth through time as many times as you want? What's the longest you've been in one time stream?" It was late into the evening and I was still hung up on it. Alduin sighed, looking exhausted with my fascination as I bit into my apple, though my attention was entirely focused on him. A few times he had deflected my questions under the guise of affecting the future – which was obviously important seeing as he was probably trying to lead events in a direction he knew to be in his favor – and that was frustrating, but those were few and far between.

"I don't do it because I want to." The dark haired man replied, running his fingers through his hair as he thought. "I'm either sent unwillingly to a different time, at which point they bounce me into another, and so on, or I'm forced to take action and go myself when circumstances become unfavorable. I believe the longest I spent in one place is before the first time I was thrown through time; it was long enough I cannot recall my exact age." He mused, and I nodded slightly. It didn't go unnoticed how he hedged around the unfavorable reasons that would cause him to skip through time again, but I didn't mind much. I was curious, naturally, because it was obviously something very important to him, but he always distracted me from it with something else; this was probably the single most interesting thing I had ever heard of. He could travel through _time_. See distant futures and look into the past. It was amazing to think about.

"Have we had this conversation before?" The idea dawned on me suddenly and I knew I was giving him a wide-eyed stare from his snort of amusement. Alduin was especially amused with me today, it seemed, as he had laughed at several of my questions and facial expressions when he tried to explain the concept of time being a mortal construct or whatever. It had all went right over my head, so we'd went back to simpler subjects. Like if he had ever ran into another version of himself, which, he explained was impossible, but once again, the details went right over my head no matter how hard I tried to understand what he was saying. I had never felt so unintelligent then when he tried to simplify these things for me, and suddenly had a bit of guilt for how I had responded to younger students at the college years ago. It was weird for me not to fully grasp something, so I tended to be an ass about other people not grasping things. Apparently the joke was on me, this time.

"No, we have not. Though, I do think the last time we met, you'd already confessed your love for me by this time." I choked on the next bite of my apple, hitting my chest slightly as I coughed. I very nearly fell off the stump I was seated on, feeling a blush warm my features as I managed to swallow the offending fruit and pout at him.

"You're lying." My voice was a high-pitched whine when I caught my breath. He laughed, shaking his head and waving me away, clearly finding my reaction hysterical, as he couldn't even glance at me without snorting and starting up the rowdy noise again.

"I wish I were. You seem to grow fond of me fairly quickly no matter what the circumstances are." The waggling of his eyebrows made me laugh despite myself, covering my mouth as the anxious giggles assaulted my senses. I was always fond of him, huh? That was unsurprising, for some reason. Maybe it was just the warmth of the fire, but I felt a rush of heat through my body when our gazes met again; I grinned at the slight shimmering of his gaze that indicated tears of laughter, wondering if I looked similar from his perspective. Because he was just… _beautiful_. He was always so beautiful.

"You're full of it." I denied good-naturedly, momentarily mesmerized by his eyes; knowing damn well he was probably telling the truth, from the knots slowly forming in my stomach. _Yes_ , I acknowledged begrudgingly, _I probably had confessed my love previously_. In times like this, when we were just people interacting and teasing one another, he was easy to like. Easy to love, even. But for some reason the knowledge that, thanks to some other version of myself, he was aware I could love him made me feel… stubborn. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging these blooming feelings, much less acknowledge that I knew he was being honest with me.

His gaze held mine still, and in his normal uncanny fashion, I knew he knew exactly what I was thinking; he knew it even without the bond. I was startled when part of me desperately wanted to reach out to him, having never felt that overwhelming _desire_ to touch someone before. It almost completely overtook my common sense; in the next moment all laughter was gone from the air and we were just staring at one another, one unable to look away and the other unwilling. It wasn't the first time I had lusted after the man, but it was the first time I felt it all of my own accord, and suddenly the warmth that had filled me was doused in ice water.

 _No._ I was thinking that a lot lately wasn't I? I saw the slight darkening of his eyes before he mercifully turned away, releasing me from his allure as I rolled onto my feet from my place on an old stump. The two parts of me that were bickering amongst themselves as to whether I should throw myself at him or flee to my bed had me frozen solid in my standing position, half facing him and half ready to bolt. Alduin wouldn't look at me again, and for some reason that felt like a rejection, despite the fact I rationally didn't want to garner his attention. Or maybe I did.

Staring at the side of his face with narrowed eyes, I grit my teeth, acknowledging that I did in fact want his attention. That's exactly what I wanted; that was a problem that I was too afraid to really address because even though he said he wanted me, I had never really given it much thought until right this moment as to whether or not that could be something I wanted. I had immediately refused the mere idea on principle – because he declared it for all his little minions and how arrogant was that? – but after actually interacting with him and seeing this part of him, some traitorous little corner of my mind didn't think it would be that bad. But then, as with every thought I had, there was that anxious thought that maybe it was all just a jibe at me, that he hadn't actually meant it, and it was all just for fun to rile me up. And how stupid would I look to actually approach him with that meek little thought that I might like him enough to be with him, if it had all been a joke?

More than that though, how selfish would I be to surrender to that? Was I ready to commit to him? Was I ready to throw the entire human race into his grasp because he could give me what I wanted? Alduin apparently found my gaze to be too much, because for some reason he chose just then to look at me once more and I realized that I might actually be that selfish. Maybe not right this second, but definitely if things carried on. I had noticed it the other evening before my weird dreams, and I was noticing it once more. I could easily fall victim to this. To him. I didn't love him yet, but given enough time, those feelings would come to pass, and there I would be, faced with this question. How selfish was I?

I blinked and he was in front of me, one hand cupping my cheek while the other rested lightly on my waist. His ruby eyes barreled into mine and I was assaulted with the sensation that he was _in my head_ and it felt… good. Really good. I wanted to focus more on how startlingly wonderful and full and safe it felt with his presence in my head, but just as quickly as I noticed those feelings, his lips had found mine and I was _aching_ for him. My hands found purchase in his hair as he pulled me flush against him; the kiss was by no means gentle or romantic, but there was a longing and desperation in our frantic clash of flesh and teeth that took my breath away.

He pulled away and I whined slightly in my throat as I rested my hands against his chest, gripping his shirt loosely. His panting was tickling my lips teasingly, and I was sure my own heavy breathing was probably just as bothersome. We were gazing at each other in a way I vaguely recognized as tender before I felt him in my head once more. My eyes very nearly rolled back when his fingers traced down my cheek and neck before running back up; the sensation of his warmth in my mind and his touch intoxicating.

"I'm sorry, Faelynn, I just couldn't help myself." Alduin murmured, and I felt his fingers press lightly against my temple. I gasped, the small jolt of pain making me wince as I stumbled, feeling disoriented suddenly.

"Easy there," He chuckled, and I scowled, wondering when exactly we had gotten to our feet. "Are you alright?" His tone was mocking and I flushed, gripping his arm lightly as I tried to stop the world from twirling. I tried to remember what had just happened, but came up blank, making me chew my bottom lip worriedly. I wanted to ask, but at the same time I didn't think I would be able to process anything he told me anyway. My head was throbbing and I could barely keep upright, much less care about the minor detail of how I got upright in the first place.

"I don't know what just happened." I admitted, leaning on him heavily with a groan when the world refused to stop moving. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and helped me hobble to my sleeping bag, gently settling me down in it as I whimpered, trying to stay grounded.

"You probably just stood too fast," My eyes were closed, but I could hear the grin in his voice. "I didn't mean to frighten you with the knowledge another version of you loved me." He chuckled and I swiped blindly in the direction of his voice, groaning a quick ' _shut it_ ' when I made contact with him.

"Sleep well, _mal jud_." I heard the fire sizzle in protest as water hit it, and the slight shuffling that I knew was Alduin crawling into his own bed beside me. Unfortunately, sleep didn't come easy, even after the world quit spinning and I dared to open my eyes. Partially due to the small gap where I apparently blacked out, but mostly due to the smoky flavor in my mouth.

* * *

I was deeply irritated when I woke up to water drizzling down on me. It started out a light rain – I probably could have slept right through it, honestly – but in the next moment it was like the Gods had decided to dump a lake down on our sleeping heads, and we were forced to scramble to gather our things up. The sun hadn't even risen yet, so we were tripping over one another in our mildly delirious states, and it was quite the spectacle to behold. At one point I actually managed to lay eyes on my male companion in the darkness and outright laughed. His hair was sticking up in every direction and he was shirtless, carrying several objects in a giant bear hug with the bag they went in _literally in his hand_. Unfortunately, the rain kept me from really reveling in the moment, and we went stumbling under the treeline in hopes of getting our things together so we could find a more suitable shelter.

"I'm going to catch my death at this rate." I mused softly, loving the smell of fresh rain despite being soaked – for the second day in a row – to the bone. Alduins sharp look would have made me nervous once, but instead I just scoffed at his lack of humor. At least I could make light of a situation. Even if I was being partially serious. The throbbing in my head hadn't faded much, and I could only figure it was the start of a pretty awful cold.

It took us a bit to get our bearings – well, for _him_ to get his bearings, seeing as I was pretty much useless in finding shelter, here – but soon enough we were heading towards what he assured me was a perfectly safe shelter. I didn't want to believe any kind of caves would be safe, but it was that or stand around in the freezing rain for however long, and as much as I loved the smell, I wasn't keen on falling ill. It couldn't have been more than thirty minutes before we found it, and once again I was left stripping out of soaking clothes in favor of less soaking clothes in my pack while Alduin started a fire. I can only assume he took me catching my death very literally, as the moment I was fully dressed he promptly draped the cloak I had packed him for the cold weather around my shoulders and seated me on my sleeping bag beside the fire. It was a sweet gesture that had me feeling a strange pang in my chest as he rolled his bag out and sat beside me.

"I won't really die if I get sick." I felt the need to inform him, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. He didn't say anything, and instead grunted slightly before curling back up in his bed. I smiled slightly when his soft snores bounced off the walls of the cave, shaking my head a bit before following suit. I tried to resist the urge, but after a moment I pulled his cloak into the bag with me, rolling it up much like a pillow and burying my face in it. A grin lit my features as his scent filled my nose, not unlike the mixture of the world outside in that moment. The soft pitter-patter of rain and Alduins quiet snores eventually lulled me back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry it's been so long, guys! I put my reasons why in my profile and whatnot (TLDR: I'm traveling lots), but I'm sorry that I fell behind on updates. I'm still excited about this story and plan to update any time I can.

Thanks for sticking with me; reviews are always loved and keep me inspired!

\- Razzella

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|| Chapter Eight ||

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 _Skyrim_ © Bethesda

 _Faelynn, Arvakr_ © Razzella

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"I have no idea how to defeat Paarthurnax." I admitted finally, running my fingers through my white locks as I sifted through some of the tomes and pamphlets I had dragged along with us on our adventure to Alduins reprieve. The darker male looked effectively surprised at my loud admittance, staring at me as I scanned a page before tossing it aside.

"I didn't even know how to defeat _you_ – I just got lucky and tagged along with Arvakr! – though I suppose defeating you was going to be much more difficult and I ran blindly into that so I'm not sure why I'm so distressed over this." I rambled, barely retaining the information on each page before tossing it into the pile. None of it was really useful to me, as my enemies were dragons rather than raiders, or ghosts, or some other scary mortal creature. Last time I had been ready to fight an ancient powerful dragon I had been with Arvakr, making us a powerful dragon-destroying duo. This time, however, he wasn't trustworthy and I was stuck doing all the legwork.

"You were going to fight me without a plan?" Alduin sounded more amused than I would have liked and I glared at him, partially indignant but mostly just flustered.

"I assumed Arvakr had one!" The defense was weak, even to my own ears, and the grin on his chiseled features make me roll my eyes before returning to my task. If he wasn't going to be of any help, there was no reason for me to worry about including him in my thoughts.

"I would recommend a coup, personally. Politics are something even among the _dovah_ , _mal jud_. Have a more powerful, well-liked _dovah_ round up followers and sort it out for you. After all, he's only in power because you have me tied down for the moment." He sounded casual as he offered some input – _finally_ – and I paused in my shuffling of different papers, thoughtful.

"Forever." I corrected absentmindedly, smirking when he bristled. It was an idea, certainly. Better than my nonexistent ones, at least. Technically, I didn't even have to release him from the bond. If I kept him bonded to me and played the part of humbled _Dovahkiin_ mate, it shouldn't take long for him to gather up his followers and take down his brother. But this course of action put me in a rather precarious position. I would be at his mercy – at the mercy of his people, who may know how to severe the bond and remove me from the picture altogether, or worse, give way for Alduin to make good on his promise of eternal torment – and then, of course, his next move would be to enslave all mortal creatures again. Or the coup could fail if Paarthurnax managed to reveal it was actually I that had the dragon tied down, and not the other way around.

"That seems like a good idea on paper," I grumbled, giving him a wary look. "But considering the position it would put me in, I think I'd rather consider other options first." My dismissal seemed to please him more than irritate, from the flicker of pride that crossed his features.

"Clever girl." Alduins approving purr made me flush, shaking my head slightly as I tapped my fingers against the stone rock that held most of my information on it. The only other option would be to convince a dragon to turn on Paarthurnax and bring me to wherever he was hiding. Though it made sense he would hide in the only place I couldn't reach on my own. Or was that too obvious? Maybe he would prefer hiding in plain sight instead, hoping my naivety would be my downfall.

"I do believe that a week on this subject is driving you to overthink it, Faelynn." Had it already been a week? Time was flying by me at this rate. Alduin had been pulling back from me since revealing he had bounced back and forth through time, and so conversation was very rare at this point outside of working out how to take down Paarthurnax, which was thus far a resounding failure. But he was more civil than ever before, and I was grateful that at least I and he weren't at each other's throats at all hours of the day. That and my strange dreams hadn't stopped. Every night seemed to be a different scenario in which he and I were happy together, somehow. A glimpse into another life, almost. It was making it increasingly difficult to ignore my attraction to him – at least on a physical level, as I was well aware he was nothing like the Alduin in my dreams – and almost painful to acknowledge that this was indeed our life. Enemies. Reluctant companions with an air of various tensions fluctuating between us. Never truly friends.

"I wasn't aware you wanted to be friends." I jerked to attention at the sound of his voice – oddly cold in comparison to what I had marked as his normal demeanor – and glared fiercely.

"I was only remarking how sad it was that our fate is to fight, if you must eavesdrop on my thoughts."

"Is that our fate?" His quick response gave me an odd tightness in my chest as we locked eyes. "Isn't our fate whatever we decide?" This was familiar. I furrowed my brow at him, and I could feel his distance over the bond. He was clearly holding something back from me, though I guess that was not uncommon.

"We've had this conversation before, haven't we?" A small, tired grin split his face.

"We have had many conversations before, _mal jud_. Are you going to ask every time we speak?" I felt the blush filling my features, but held fast to my unbothered expression. After a long moment, he turned away, grabbing a tome from our makeshift table and flipping it open with a small sigh.

"Yes, we have. Only the roles were reversed last time around." And suddenly I knew exactly what he was talking about. I _had_ said that to him once before. I had dreamt it only two evenings ago. A disagreement between us in which I called him foolish and insisted we could make our own destiny; decide our own fate, and pick our own purpose. I had declared my love for him and he had rejected me, inciting a foolish argument that lead to some rather adult activities once I convinced him to act on his feelings rather than listen to a foolish prophecy scrawled on a wall by man.

I stared at the paper in my hand, unseeing, as a strange dread settled over me. Were my dreams memories of lives before? Was being in his presence giving me insight into possible futures? I let out an unsteady breath, willing myself to push the idea aside. It was just a coincidence. Surely he would have mentioned a possible side effect like this. Surely.

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"So if we've met before, do you always threaten to torture me? Or is that just a promise reserved for this timeline?" I asked as we walked through Solitudes small shopping district, a messenger bag in tow. We had actually come to sniff out an old tome Alduin said should be somewhere in this city that could help me learn some dragon culture – yes, yes I'm weak for knowledge – but we had quickly become sidetracked with hunting down some supplies that we may need on our extended camping trip.

"You mean my promise of breaking you and rebuilding you into something better?" At my narrowed eyes, he grinned and handed me a small bag of apples he had acquired. "I'm not going to harm a hair on your pretty little head, mortal. But I do always threaten it in the beginning. Your reaction is always amusing. Once you shoved me off the horse and actually attempted to fight me." To say I was experiencing some relief would be an understatement. At least I knew I wouldn't be facing any painful repercussions for keeping him tied down so long.

"After all, my goal has always been to take you as my mate," Alduins continuation very nearly made me trip over my own feet. "So being bonded to you was inevitable. I don't particularly care in what direction the bond flows, so much as it's there. I would even chance saying I prefer it this way, as its most helpful to have some insight into you." I could feel my features turning pink as I hurriedly bought some meat, trying to formulate a good response to that. What was I supposed to say now? Wait… was that what the bond was for?! Before I could round on him for confirmation, a roar overhead made me stiffen, looking upwards in sync with my companion as he shoved us none too gently into a crack between a pair of houses.

"How did they find us?!" I demanded in a hurried whisper, almost hissing as we crouched in the shadows, listening to people scream and panic as the beast landed atop a nearby building.

"It is Krahnelkril." Alduin explained softly, and I felt everything in me burn with irritation and possessiveness. If the male felt my sudden surge of emotion, he didn't comment, and instead took to eyeing the other dragons curiously. "We should hurry to find the book and flee the city. I don't particularly want to deal with her at the moment." I tried not to let my smugness show at his words, but he sent me a smirk with a quirked brow and I shrugged slightly, feigning indifference. It was really no use to pretend those feelings hadn't happened, and I was more than accustomed to him picking at my head and heart by this point.

"You know, typically _dovah_ take multiple mates." He teased as we slinked away from the dragon slowly, managing to stay under her radar.

"I'm more man that _dovah_ , and typically we practice monogamy." I snipped back, scampering after him.

"Are you implying you want me all to yourself?" Alduin waggled his eyebrows and I snorted in laughter, ducking into the Blue Palace with him and following after him still as he weaved quickly through the building.

"I suppose I might be." I relented, startling us both with my flirtatious response. About an hour later and we managed to steal the old book from a restricted, unkempt section of the palace, and slip out of the city unbothered. It was surprisingly easy to hassle them into letting us into that section of the palace under the guise of cleaning it, seeing as the place had looked like it hadn't been tended to in ages. I didn't bother wondering how Alduin knew the book was going to be there, but there was something I discovered a bit later that caught my attention.

"It's written in your language?! _Why?_ " I flipped through the pages, my brain already hurting with the amount of effort this single book was going to take. To say I was displeased was an understatement. Not that I wasn't able to read their language, but I had become rusty from lack of practice. It was going to take me a few passages before things started running in my head correctly to read the book without pause. We were walking along the road from Solitude, Alduin graciously carrying our supplies while I scanned the book with a small pout.

"Whining does not suit you, _kulaas_. It was written by _dovah_ for _dovah_. Naturally it would be in our tongue." I huffed, tempted to stick my tongue out at him. Instead of giving in to that impulse, I gave in to another and shoved him gently, laughing when he actually stumbled a bit. He seemed startled for a split second before returning the motion; I very nearly fell over with the amount of force behind his push. Our combined laughter scared off most of the nearby wildlife, but the moment was ruined when another roar filled the air.

"She's very persistent." My companion informed me casually despite my growing anxiety. It was suspicious that we were being followed at all, much less being followed by one of his mates. Probably a jealous mate. I would be jealous. Ruby eyes cut to me quickly and I glared, cursing inwardly that I had ever enacted the bond. He always snooped at _just_ the right moment, didn't he?

The dragon landed noisily, the flap of her wings sending dust and debris everywhere. _Graceful._ I didn't bother approaching the other female, instead letting Alduin handle her. It wouldn't do for me to try speaking with her, given my sudden possessiveness. Well, maybe not so sudden. I cast a glare in their direction, unable to help my curiosity. What were they talking about? _Why do I care?_ I turned a question on myself that seemed to settle my irritation, cracking open my new book rather than tear myself up listening to them.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind, one hand clamping over my mouth hurriedly to muffle my screech for help. The world began spinning as my knees buckled, and I realized quickly I was poisoned. Odahviing. I tried to break free of his grip, letting out muffled screams despite my growing nausea. The poison was apparently fast acting this time; I felt myself being lifted from the ground even as my body went limp. _Alduin!_ His name bounced over the bond as many times as I could think it before I fainted.

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I woke up and was pleasantly surprised to find I was not locked in a dungeon, as I had assumed I would be. Not that my stone quarters were much better, but at least here I had a window, and a warm bed, if not much else. My things hadn't been taken either, it appeared, as I scanned the room. They were strewn across a nearby table and I could only assume they had been snooping for something dangerous before deciding none of it mattered and just storming out.

"There was no reason to get rid of your things," Alduin spoke up and I jerked to attention, glaring at him heatedly as he leaned casually in the stone doorway. "It's you versus three dragons – I doubt you could take us all down." I had expected rage to flood me at his grim smirk. I had expected panic, or anger but all I felt was a sharp pang of betrayal and disappointment. Just when I had begun surrendering to the urge to relax in his presence, he had struck, as I knew he would.

"You can send her messages telepathically." I spoke my realization quietly. Just like he could read my mind, she could read his. They shared the same bond I had made with him; remembering that stung, though I stamped that feeling out immediately. There was no need for me to feel upset with being betrayed by an enemy. What else could I had expected?

"You set me up." I was careful not to reveal any emotion in my words, and willed myself to grow numb. The empty feeling I was able to replicate was preferable to the turmoil my heart was trying to stir up, though it was admittedly very fragile. Agitation flickered over his features as he picked at the numbed feeling, staring at me seriously. There were a million other things I wanted to say – at least half of them I wanted to scream – but as long as I buried my feelings, I could avoid my emotional responses and focus on the only thing that mattered: my escape.

"Don't. Don't think that." The plea was quiet as Alduin stepped into the room, pulling the door shut behind him. His red eyes were sparkling and gentle, as I remembered seeing them in my dreams. He approached me, and I moved away from him. I placed the table between us, my eyes unwavering from his as he furrowed his brow at me.

"Faelynn," A little more agitation slipped into his pleading tone. Had it been earlier in our time together, I may have melted right there. "Please."

"Get out." I demanded, voice arctic as we continued staring at one another across the table. Every time he shifted to inch closer, I shifted further away, preventing him from getting close enough to touch me. Close enough to alter my memories, or reach out to hold me. If I got my way, he would never touch me again. A dark shadow passed over his features at my train of thought, appearing more threatening than he had in a long while.

"Fine." Alduin sneered, shoving away from the table and storming towards the door. He paused as if he wanted to say more, but ultimately just shook his head and continued out of the room. Immediately, I turned towards the window, careful not to directly think about my idea as I pushed it open to gaze outside. I was definitely not on a floating island, which was a relief. I could easily scale the wall and run if I had to.

I sat down in front of the now open window, pressing my back against the cold stone and working to process what had happened. Obviously Odahviing and Krahnelkril were both working with Alduin, which made sense. His suggestion for a coup made more sense now that I was effectively a princess locked in a castle – _again_ – and I wondered how I didn't see it before. Of course he was still actively working against me. Of course none of our reluctant friendliness mattered to him.

Tears filled my eyes as my fragile numbness cracked; there was a deafening roar through the building that made me more angry than depressed. On some strange, angry instinct, I screamed in response and was effectively startled when it came out sounding more _dovah_ than human. My thu'um reverberated through the stone just as his had, causing an earthquake-like shudder through the building. Standing, I allowed the anger to take over as it had before; I lifted one of the wooden chairs and launched it across the room with strength I didn't even realize I had. It shattered on impact, and I repeated this process with anything I could get my hands on, releasing my fury in the most productive way I could, given the circumstances.

"I will kill you, Alduin! Next time I'll rip your heart from your bloody chest!" I screeched, the words vibrating furiously and knocking small pebbles from the roof and walls. I could feel my mind threatening to slip into the violent trance it had while I was in the forest, and I tried to calm myself. The tears that had slipped down my cheeks almost stung as I continued trashing the room I'd been so _graciously_ given. It would have been easier had he locked me in a cell. I wouldn't feel the need to lash out like this. How dare he act like I was just a visiting friend – as if I was someone who deserved a room in his stupid castle. I didn't want it. I didn't want him to treat me kindly. I wanted an excuse to be hateful and angry and fight back. But here I was, in my own room. Safe and sound.

"I will never love you." I shouted, though it didn't carry as far as my previous threat. It may have been due to the bitter taste saying it left on my tongue. The human part of me was threatening to weep and wallow in her heartbreak, but my dragon soul was furious at the betrayal. Furious enough to keep me from surrendering to the tide of pain and sadness that Alduin had caused me.

I turned on my heel and stormed back to the window, gazing out at the terrain with my hands on my hips. He should have known I would make an escape given the opportunity. Why would he even offer me a room with a view like this? I hated it. The forest went on for miles beyond my view, climbing up the mountainside in the distance. It was beautiful, even as the sun threatened to settle beyond the mountains, indicating it was already evening. If I was going to run, I would need to go the moment it grew dark out. Otherwise they would be able to spot me from above more easily.

"Faelynn." Alduins voice made me jump, turning on my heel in surprise to find him just inches from me; I couldn't help but wonder how it was he'd managed to sneak up on me in my agitated state. His hands cupped my face too quickly for me to scurry away and in the next moment his lips were pressed against mine. The sensation ignited some primal urge within me and I gripped the front of his shirt, my initial thought to shove him away from me, but instead ended up keening softly as he pulled me to him.

"You are my sky." He murmured the words against my lips and I felt myself sob even as he tugged me back into the room, laying me flat against the bed before kissing me again, quieting my distress. With each kiss, my sadness drifted further and further away, giving way to a needy feeling that had me practically clawing to pull him closer to me.

"Alduin, _please_ stop." My voice was hoarse and my face tear-stained as he pushed away from me, smirking slightly. I didn't mean it, and he knew it. My anger and sadness had given way to a lust I had no desire to fight this time. This would make me feel better, if only for the moment. I wouldn't feel nearly as guilty about stealing away into the night.

It felt familiar, somehow, as I laid on the bed, quivering under his gaze. My body was heated; tingling as he brushed his nose along my forehead, caressing my face with his breath as he snickered. His long hair acted as something to shield us from the world as he rested above me – his chest just barely grazing mine in a way that was driving me insane.

"Stop what?" His voice was dark, though it held a certain heat I didn't want to analyze in our current position. I inhaled the smell of smoke and rain and my will to fight slowly began ebbing away. I felt so safe – so warm – here with him. My heart spluttered as his lips grazed my cheek, then slowly made his way to gently run those sinful lips along my ears; I released a breathy whimper at the sensation.

"What do you want me to stop, my queen?" His knee inched higher between my legs and I shuddered as he murmured into my ear. His body shifted above me so that he could caress my side with one hand as his teeth teasingly grazed my ear. Everything about this was so wrong and yet every inch of me wanted it. There was no part of my body attempting to resist; even my thoughts themselves had halted the moment he crawled on top of me.

"Tell me what you want, Faelynn." The words were so gentle as he made his way down to my neck, and I couldn't help the soft moan that managed to escape me.

"You're not f-fighting fair." I managed to mumble and he paused; I knew by now he was listening in on my scattered thoughts to connect the dots. Laughter resounded quietly around the room as he leaned back enough that his red eyes could seek mine in the steadily darkening room. I felt my body soar with the sensation of warmth and sensitivity that came when he stopped syphoning off my heat. As soon as I released a breathy moan, he sapped the feeling away.

"You think your reaction is simply due to _frin_ **[heat]**?" I could feel his grin, though I tried to ignore the twisting in my stomach it caused. His lips connected with mine in the dark as a bright light flashed across my vision, letting me reclaim a memory he had taken from me. The memory of the night I had been poisoned; we walked through the forest until I became so _enraptured_ with him. Our first kiss melted into my mind as I returned the _dovahs_ attention; melding our lips together and deepening the kiss.

"You have wanted me," He breathed as he pulled away, kissing my chin. "Since you first laid eyes on me, haven't you?" His voice was huskier than it had been moments before; his lips brushed against my collarbone in a feather-light kiss. Another memory flashed over my vision, making me arch slightly as he nuzzled my skin. The night we talked about his time travel, when I'd wondered if I could be happy as his mate. He had kissed me that time, hadn't he?

"Yes." I breathed, barely audible over our combined panting. A low growl of approval echoed behind my admittance as teeth gently grazed my neck; I moaned in response.

"Every moment around me was torture, wasn't it?" He murmured, untying my nightwear with deft hands.

"I could hear your every thought of me clear as a bell," He continued, purring in approval as my dress finally came undone and he began tugging it slowly off of me. "Every curse – every naughty, depraved little thought that came across your mind. All of your internal turmoil over these feelings that never seemed to go away – I heard every one."

I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. I wasn't embarrassed when his fingers traced patterns into bare skin, or when my lips searched out his in the stillness of the room, desperate and needy with nothing but the sound of our moans and contented sighs to fill the air. No, I wasn't embarrassed – not even when I felt his teeth dig into the place just above my hip bone, though that was decidedly very painful. His tongue lapped up the resulting blood as he traced his hands up my body soothingly, and I couldn't help the breathy whimper that escaped. I felt complete with him; when our bodies finally joined it was a sensation I would have traded the world to experience once more.


End file.
